The original letters are now in the Archives of the University of Notre Dame Eleanor Sherman Fitch New York July 11th 1952 1864 1865 1866 1867 1868 1869 1871 1872 1873 1874 These typed copies of letters written by ELLEN EWING SHERMAN to her husband GENERAL WILLIAM TECUMSEH SHERMAN have been carefully read and compared by me with the original long hand written letters and are correct copies. Eleanor Sherman Fitch August 28, 1936
Lancaster Ohio.,
January 20, 1864
[1864/01/20]
[WTS]
From the papers, dearest Cump, we learn that you arrived safely at Memphis & were tendered a public dinner &c. which you accepted. Although many days have passed since we got this news by telegraph, yet I have had no letter from you. It cannot be possible that you have made your visit there & left without writing to me either there or on your way down. I could not accuse you of such unkindness & yet I would feel much better satisfied if I had received a letter. One letter in three weeks is not enough yet it is all I have had from you since you left. This is the day you told me to write to you at Memphis. From the date of your leaving Memphis for Vicksburg I doubt if this will reach there before you will have passed on your way home, or rather on your way to Cairo &c, but as you were very explicit in your directions to me not to write except on the 10th & 20th inst to Memphis & on the 1st to Cairo I have concluded to follow directions whether I succeed or fail in communicating with you. Your blankets came on Saturday evening the 2nd inst and according to directions I forwarded them to Silas Miller. Do not forget to pay the charge on them. I intended to prepay them but John took them to the office contrary to my directions, without waiting for the money. You are going to pay for the horse so you can remember this at the Same time. I enclose, with this a letter from Minnie which she sent to me to direct. I have had several letters from her and from the tone of them I imagine she is rather homesick. But that is almost inevitable and I hope she will soon get over it. She is very anxious for me to come down but I fear I will not be able to do so as Mother is much worse, and Father also. Last week I thought Father was sinking rapidly - his symptoms were very alarming and the Doctor almost dispaired. He has however rallied again but I look on it as the flickering of a candle before going out. It is impossible & wholly undesirable that Mother should linger more than a week or two from this time. It is with difficulty she can be moved in bed & it takes three persons at once to change her clothing & make her bed. Rachel is suffering from severe cold on her lungs which commenced with asthma and is passing off as your attacks generally did, She is quite fretful. Kate Willock is sick & Tommy & Lizzie are not at school but they read a good deal particularly Tommy. Lizzie steals off to the kitchen to help Sarah cook whenever she can. Elly is well & seems happy to have ascertained that General Sherman is her Papa & her Papa is General Sherman. Dear Willy must look on us from heaven now, where I trust his pure prayers will obtain for you - his fondly loved father - the grace of the true faith and the Sacraments, and for us all, strength & perseverance until the hour of death, when we may join him & dwell with him forever, in the bosom of our Father & our God. Pray for us pure saint! Philemon is in New York but will probably be home soon. We may have to telegraph to him any day. All send love to you. The children talk of you & of Willy & Minnie all the time,
As ever,
Ellen.
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
January 21, 1864
[1864/01/21]
[WTS]
I wrote you yesterday, dearest Cump, according to your directions to me in your letter written in the Gun boat, but last evening I received your letter of the 11th and having complained of not hearing from you I now write to say what pleasure your letter gave me. You must have been fatigued to death by business and pleasure during your breif stay in Memphis. I regret, very much, that you are going in person on an expidition against those desperadoes. When will you get back to your Army at Huntsville? and how will you return there? If by Louisville, can you not run up to Cincinnati and visit Minnie at her convent school? If you can, telegraph me and let me meet you there. As I told you in yesterday's letter I fear I will not be able to go down as soon as I expected or as soon as poor Minnie wishes me to come. Mother is very much worse, Father is not as well as when you were here but he has been so much worse since that he now considers himself greatly improved. He has abandoned all thought of Washington this winter, very much to our releif. Philemon has not got home from New York nor has Father yet heard anything from him in regard to the business. It seems Fremont keeps his Staff of Colonels Lieut Colonels Majors &c although not on even nominal duty. A grateful country is supposed to take pleasure in keeping them, in his honor. Haskell is one of them, Zaggoni - another. I have got my house engaged for Spring and have more than enough furniture &c to fill it but I have not yet ventured to tell Father that I am going. I dread to See him worried but I must command privacy and a home to myself, for my time of coming trouble. Go I must when the time arrives at which I can have the house, After all the devotion I have shewn him Father cannot be so unjust as to accuse me of unkindness to him in this, but if he do, my Father in heaven who reads my heart, will I trust hold me innocent of blame in the matter.
Poor little Rachel suffers very much from that cold on her lungs. I really feel uneasy about her, she has had so many severe attacks of that sort. Elly too is quite subject to colds on her lungs which are always accompanied by cough which disturbs her the entire night. I wonder the little things are able to run about as they do through the day after coughing all night long. Tommy is very anxious to receive a letter from you. He says no person writes to him. Darling Willy! how I wish we could see him for one moment. It seems to me I would then be better reconciled to his loss. But we must wait, until passing through the gates of death, we can join him, since he nevermore can come to us.
Lizzie's health continues better than usual during the winter. Try to prepare your soul to meet our darling in heaven.
As ever, your affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
January 29, 1864
[1864/01/29]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Had it not been for your letter to me telling me "not to attempt to follow you with letters but to write on the 20th inst. to Memphis & on the 1st Feb. to Cairo" I would have written to you several times before the 20th. As it is, I fear you were disappointed when you reached there on the 20th from Vicksburg. My letter of the 20th, enclosing one from Minnie to you, did not probably reach Memphis before you reembarked for Vicksburg. I cannot bear even to think of your passing over the Same way where our darling suffered, God only knew, what agony. But thank God he is forever happy and the temptations & sorrows which so thickly strew the paths of mortals can never trouble him again. Holy, happy saint! pray for us. May God forgive me all my short comings towards the pure spirit that was for nine years confided to my unworthy care. Surely my tears & sorrow must have washed away those sins at least, especially as I have never dared to murmer at God's decree in taking him away. What a joyful meeting it will be in heaven should we be blest in getting there to find our darling waiting to receive us. Through the merits of our Saviour's passion & death heaven was opened to Willy & you too must have the faith & hope & love for God which he had for our Saviour says unless you become as little children you cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven." Ask Willy to pray for you & God will give you faith. Willy felt very badly about your not having faith and it was a trial to his loving heart to know that the father he so idolized on earth never prayed to God for blessings which are eternal. Of course I never talked to him of this, but he made the application of faith & religious instruction, & in his heart lamented what he had too much love & respect for you to criticise - he lamented it, as a misfortune, but little things several times shewed me his keen feelings on the subject which he sought to conceal.
I feel very anxious about this expedition you are going out on and shall rejoice when I know you have safely returned to Memphis.
Saturday morning January 30th -
The Doctor has just left Mother's room and tells me to telegraph Philemon at Washington to come home at once if he would see Mother again living. She is very low but owing to her weak and greatly exhausted state she does not suffer such terrible agony as we had feared she would from the Doctor's representations of former cases of the kind. She knows us all and calls us by name whenever we go to her. Father is very much improved and is better now than the Doctor or any of us ever expected to See him. He will go to Washington as soon as he can after Mother's funeral if he continue as well as now and the weather be not bad. His friends and clients are anxious to have him come on and have made every possible arrangement for his comfort. Philemon will go on with him and he will take a servant so he will have as much attention as possible. We have had delightful summer weather lately but it is too warm to be wholesome. I hope you have had pleasant weather for your trip down to Vicksburg and your expedition east. Father has telegraphed to all the boys to come home but we do not know that any of them will get here.
On looking over my scrap book I find that I have that letter of resignation which you wrote at Alexandria on the breaking out of the rebellion. I forget what it was you wished to have done with it. A brother of Admiral Foote called here a day or two since and he and Father had a great talk over you & the Admiral. He expressed the warmest feeling and highest admiration for you. I gave that piece from the Bulletin to Mr. Martin & he is to Send it to Mr. Casserly with a request to have it published in San Francisco.
I have just been called to Mother's room where Sis is sitting. I think Mother is dying.
The children are well -
As ever my dearest your truly affectionate wife
Ellen E. S.
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
February 2, 1864
[1864/02/02]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
From following your very positive directions too closely, I fear I have left you to be disappointed on your arrival and during your stay in Memphis. I wrote you the days you directed but on the the 20th ult., the day you told me to write the second letter, which enclosed one from Minnie, did not get there before your departure. We have had an account in the papers of your fine dinner party and of the speeches made by you and Genl Hurlbut. How hollow all such pleasure must seem to you since witnessing our darling Willy's death. I can never again feel as I did before.
I see that you have placed General Buckland in command. Until I have news of your safe return to Memphis I shall feel very anxious about you. I hope you have written me a second letter from Memphis and that I will soon receive it. The intervals between your letters seem very long to me. I am lonely at heart but my time is fully occupied. Mother is so low that she can scarcely move her hand or speak above her breath. We look for Tom & Ellen tomorrow. They telegraphed Sis that they would be here. Will you not be able to run up to the convent to See Minnie on your return to Louisville? She is charmed with the place and very happy. They are thorough teachers and I feel sure you will be satisfied with Minnie's progress when you see her. I hope you will not fail to Send me another month's pay as I told you the nine hundred you left would not clear me debts and leave me any for future use long. I do not like to be always overdrawn at the Bank.
Lizzie's health is better this winter than it has ever been a winter yet. Father is much better but really I look upon his improvement as temporary although he builds great hopes upon it. Father Lange is dangerously ill of lung fever. The Arch Bishop has been up to See Mother. He expressed the greatest gratification at your having placed Minnie at the Notre Dame Convent and he evidently intends to pay her especial attention. The Sisters already seem to take great interest in her.
The little ones are well. The anniversary of dear Willy's birth month we will have another added to our little flock. God's will is all holy and all just but how much we would have preferred to have kept our lost darling. I know he is not lost but only gone before us but I cannot help calling him our lost one because we feel a loss in his absence for all time. Happy, beyond all earthly joy, the day that will reunite us in our heavenly home. We all pray for you earnestly here dearest Cump and Willy prays for you before the face of his God and Father in heaven. God loves him with a tenderness that no earthly Father could feel why therefore does my miserable heart so mourn for him. Only God can tell the deep secret springs of human woe -
Ever your faithful,
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
February 8, 1864
[1864/02/08]
[WTS]
This is your birthday, dearest Cump and a bright beautiful day it is overhead. But alas the sun shines brightest when the heart is saddest. What anguish have we not suffered since this day last year! What was a cause of deep sorrow and bitter anguish to us was I trust and beleive the beginning of unutterable joys to our darling, whom we can see on earth no more. Earth can know no desolation like that which fills the heart of a parent who beholds as we did the agony & death of an innocent and manly child. Did I not beleive that God loves him not only with a general but with a special love & that he has taken him to His to rest and happiness eternal I could not endure the trial so tender and so severe it is to me. But I must not when I can help it, weep over his happiness when I know he is praying for us. Your long kind letter of the 28th ult. was most welcome I assure you, but it makes me very anxious to learn the result of the expedition which must be hazardous. Hugh is here and he says the enemy have left our front at Chattanooga and gone to oppose you. Hugh arrived on Saturday having been summoned by Father by telegraph. Charley will be here today. Logan had removed his Head Quarters to Huntsville so they were not to=gether. Tom & his wife got here on Wednesday. Mother is still living but that is all. Father is much improved but really I do not look upon his health as likely to be permanantly established, He himself however has great hopes. Philemon got home from New York & Washington. This morning Hugh telegraphed for Henrietta. Grant offered Hugh the command of the District of Louisville and he intends to accept it, and take his family with him. Lizzie & Tommy started to school again this morning much to Tommy's satisfaction & Lizzie's chagrin - Kate had not been able before to resume the school. I told you in one of my other letters of the visit of Admiral Foote's brother and of the great talk he and Father had about you and the Admiral. I sent that article from the Memphis paper to be republished in California. On Saturday I recd a very kind letter from Mrs. Swords about Minnie. Father insisted upon my sending for Minnie last week. She will return this week. She is very much pleased with the school and from all she says about it I think it a fine institution. I will return with her if possible. All send best and fondest love to dear dear Papa.
As ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
February 17, 1864
[1864/02/17]
[WTS]
I wrote you yesterday, dearest Cump and had no time or quiet to review my letter. I have since thought that it might seem to you I had written in a moment of anger and irritation about Hugh. Not so - I wrote just what I thought and felt and had no intention of expressing any anger in the matter. It is not worth while, nor is it treating you with confidence to feel one way and write another so I told you just how we felt on the subject. We are now having another severe change of weather like New Years. Minnie was to have gone today, with Capt Harris & wife but as it is severely cold I do not like to Send her lest some accident may keep her into the night as was the case on New Year's day. Dan Giesy is going down tomorrow and should the weather moderate at all I will send her then. On no account will I keep her longer than Friday. The Sisters evidently take a deep interest in her. Sr Alphonse has written to her twice. She writes a beautiful letter. It is a fine school I feel anxious to See it. Beleive me ever with anxious a faithful love
Yours,
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
February 26, 1864
[1864/02/26]
[WTS]
A multiplicity of distractions and cares have prevented me writing to you within the past week, dearest Cump, but I have not felt that a letter would reach you for quite a long time even if written a week since.
On Saturday morning last dear Mother left us for her eternal reward at the hands of her Creator & Redeemer whom she has ever loved & endeavoured to faithfully serve. After lingering in the most agonised state of suffering - notwithstanding her extreme debility - she passed away very quietly having been too low to see move or speak or even swallow, for almost twenty four hours. Father was sitting by, holding her hand, and all her children with many others, were in the room saying the prayers for the dying when she passed away. As Hugh was reading the last prayer her soul ascended to God to whom we were recommending her for Mercy. She has joined our darling Willy now, and together, I trust they watch over us. She greived so sadly, when she learned the Sad news of Willy's death but now her mourning is changed to joy that she has him safe from earthly toils & troubles & that they repose together in the bosom of Our loving Father & God. What joy awaits us some blissful moment when the sorrows of this world are passed & we leave the body to Mother earth & join our precious boy in heaven. God grant that this may be our happy lot that together we may meet those who have gone before and be rejoined in turn by those we leave behind us. There was something so cruelly touching to my poor heart in Willy's death that the pang has left me almost callous to other woes. I was so unprepared for that - but I will not dwell on it as it nearly kills me to give way to my feelings about him.
Saturday morning Feb 27th.
As it was late last evening dearest Cump, and my heart could not be withdrawn from my sorrow about Willy I left off writing & prepared for bed. Charley left yesterday for his post and I sent Minnie with him to Cincinnati. She was to have returned last Wednesday but it grew as suddenly & nearly as severly cold as New Years and I was afraid to Send her lest she might be delayed on the way and take cold. On Saturday she was to have gone with Mr. Willock but Mother's death prevented. I am sorry she has lost so much time but I could not avoid it. She is in fine health and fully appreciates your anxiety to have her learn. I think I will send Lizzie there next fall. Tom Ewing left on Friday - his wife had gone before as she had left her children with friends who were anxious to get to their own home. Hugh is here yet with Henrietta in their own house with the children. He is waiting for orders. As I told you he despairs of promotion under you & thinks that you will never be willing to See him recommended. With this impression he saw Grant who promised him command of the district of Louisville. He is waiting for orders and shoud he not receive them he may resign. I have not talked with him about it but this is my impression from what Father has said to me. Father & his nurse Philemon & Sis all started on Thursday afternoon for Washington Father was very much improved in health & unless the trip should disagree with him he will probably have comparatively good health during the Summer. I have already told you of the death of Father Lange.
Dear Cump I would like to have you write me if you greatly prefer to have the child that will be born in June named for dear
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
March 8, 1864
[1864/03/08]
[WTS]
The newspapers report you returned to the River and if that be the case I trust I may soon have the happiness of seeing you. It seems necessary to my future happiness & comfort that I should see you for a short time at least. Since Mother's death I feel so very unsettled and in a state of such doubt & perplexity that I scarcely know what to do or which way to turn. I cannot consent to settle down as the housekeeper here when I must in consequence be then seperated from you & Minnie and also from Lizzie for she must be sent to school with Minnie next fall. There is no prospect of good schools here for years to come and before that Tommy too will want the best care of teachers. Sis is determined not to leave home & yet she is not willing to keep house, so I would be keeping house for my family & Father's which wd be composed of Sis Col Steele Father nurse John & Sis's servant - quite a good sized family in all and I would besides be expected by Father to entertain Tom's family for months or a year at a time whenever it suits their convenience to come here. I have a large enough family of my own to call forth all my poor energies and I cannot place myself longer in a situation to be harassed & disturbed by the multidudious annoyances & criticisims which the crowding in of several families into one house invariably produces. My health is so very feeble that with all the care and and peace of mind I can command under the best of circumstances I scarcely can hope to See my poor little children more than half grown. I feel like devoting myself to them henceforth and doing all I can to prepare the older ones for the care of the little ones when we may be called away. If I can live at Reading & be near Minnie & Lizzie whilst they are gaining the very best instruction I think that would be the best thing for me but before I make any such change I would like to See you. In all probability I could not go until after my confinement in June but in order to be ready then I should have arrangements made in time. Sis has always felt a grudge at me because of the mortgage on the farm and her present design is to get Father to release the mortgage and give the farm to her. This he has agreed to do and for the purpose of effecting the change he offers me some of the mill creek property in Cincinnati. He had the deed for the transfer written and intended to Sign it and have the notes relinquished before he left home but he fortunately forgot it the day he left which was the day he had arranged to sign it. I feel entirely unwilling to make the transfer and burden myself with property without consulting you. Hugh goes to Cincinnati to-morrow en route for Louisville and if I feel well enough I will go down with him and get as just an estimate of the
The rest of this letter is torn off.
[EES]
Cincinnati Ohio.,
March 10, 1864
[1864/03/10]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
I have just had a most agreeable visit from Taylor Sherman Capt. Moulton & Mr Willock. Taylor tells me he has just seen some Officis who went with you on the Vicksburg expedition. It is true, as the papers reported that you went to New Orleans after your return from the interior. They say that you will come up the river immediately after spending a few days with Banks so I am in hopes I may meet you here even before my return home or if not now that you will telegraph me and allow me to meet you here as soon as you can get here. I have not yet decided how to get out to See Minnie. Hugh was to have been here by this time but as he had to go the store for Mr Slevin first & bring him with him if possible I presume that is what is keeping him. We wished to get Mr. Slevin to go with us to See the Mill Creek property. I do not wish to take Father's deed for that property & relinquish my notes & mortgage until I have seen something more of the real value of the property as adapted to my probable wants. It no doubt will be immensely valuable in ten or twelve years but in the mean time the assessments for improvements will be exceedingly high and when the money is most needed for the education of the children it may be a tax instead of a source of profit. You & I might be called from the children within the next five years and the property which I have would alone be left for their education & support. I do not like to refuse to accede to the wishes Father has expressed in this matter & think you should be here to attend to it yourself & decide for me for if I relinquish the mortgage on the farm it will not be for Father's advantage but for that of Sis & Col. Steele. I am troubled about it more than I can tell for personal feeling is mixed up with the matter & for that reason I fear to act. I left Lizzie Elly & Rachel alone in the house with Emily & Sarah. I will go up to Reading tomorrow to See Minnie & will go home either Saturday - day after tomorrow or Monday. I brought Tommy with me as he is always content to remain here with Effie when it is not convenient for me to take him out with me. It is so lonely at home since Mother's death I can scarcely bear to Stay in the house. I think I will not do so long. Do let me see you soon if for ever so short a time. It does me good for a long time.
Ever your devoted,
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
March 26, 1864
[1864/03/26]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
I feel disappointed that I have not heard from you yet and my disappointment is unreasonable too for you have been travelling and have had no time to write. Instead of being three weeks since we parted, as it seems to me, it has been in reality only four days. Thus it is that imagination suggests many things which reason over throws. From the papers I learn that you reached Nashville on Wednesday evening. You did not tarry long in Louisville.
I have had one more dispatch about Father. On Thursday Sis telegraphed me that he was "still ill but improving -" We have recd letters from Sis & Philemon written Sunday & Monday. Father's attack was exactly the Same as the last he had at home during the absence of Philemon in New York and after your visit. It is no doubt dropsy of the heart. I have learned from those who have had experience that the symptoms of that disease are exactly Father's symptoms - the cough, sense of suffocation threatening strangulation, the swelling & discoloration of the legs &c &c, At Father's age we cannot hope that he will survive many severe attacks. If God only blesses him with faith and sanctifies his soul with the Sacraments we will be content to See him join Mother & Willy in their home above whose joys the heart of man, on earth cannot conceive. I will write or telegraph you according to the news we have of him. In no event could I go on to Washington. The ride from Cincinnati was as much as I could bear. Things at home do not look quite as gloomy to me since my visit with you. We are the "weaker vessels" and you must bear in mind that we want cheering and sustaining influence particularly when in affliction. I will get through the Summer as quietly and as happily as I can but in the fall I will go elsewhere - if it be only to board through the winter. My health is never so good here and now that gloom and sorrow has overwhelmed us the place is too dismal and I fail to keep up an interest in anything. I have again within two days a cold in my lungs which is by no means slight.
The letter from Callahan in Leavenworth giving me the name of the man to whom he wished me to make a deed must have got among your papers. I cannot find it. If convenient send it to me if not, never mind it. I will write to him again for it. I am sorry to Say Lizzie is quite deaf again. She is otherwise well & so are the other children. Tommy is out just now on "Sam" with Carter in attendance.
I enclose you a letter recd from Mr Moss. Please return it and account to me. I have got Mr. Martin to write to Mr Casserly to take the preliminary steps for selling the property & to write to me what action on our part or Lizzie's will first be necessary. As a simple order from us may be sufficient I wish you to write one a mere business order that can be produced in court authorising Mr Casserly to Sell & testifying that we can invest the money to better advantage for Lizzie. Write this paper & sign it and send it to me for my signature when I will send it to Mr. C. - If that be sufficient we will save time and the sooner pay Mr Moss & Mr Casserly. If that be not sufficient no time will be lost on account of it as we have already written to Mr Casserly. I hope you will not fail to attend to this for me. I have taken steps for the purchase of $1500. of Gov't Bonds which counting the interest in gold, the price of gold & the exemption from taxation will be as good as money loan'd at 9 pr. ct & that is more than I cd get now, Col. Steele sent the children & me a present of a quantity of maple sugar & molasses which delighted them exceedingly - I have written to him.
I will write to Minnie to go in to Mrs Swords to have her tooth plugged. Give my love to Charley if you see him. I have written to him. What has been done with Hugh? I was in hopes you wd persuade him to return to the field. The Arch Bishop was very much gratified by your message & wrote me a letter highly complimentary of you &c. &c. I did not get to See him but wrote him a note. All send love to dear Papa
Beleive me ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
March 28, 1864
[1864/03/28]
[WTS]
I hope you have recd my letter of last Saturday or Friday, dearest Cump and that you have sent me the paper formally authorising Mr Casserly to sell that property of Lizzie's. I wish such a paper as he can produce in court, signed by you & me. Should that be insufficient he will write before it reaches him and no time will be lost I have already written to him on the subject. I will write today to Mr Moss and pay him when the sale is made. I never wrote to Mrs Welsh on the subject or authorised her to speak to Mr Moss, and I am sorry he has advanced the money but as he has done so I must pay him & to do that I wish to Sell the property & invest what little we may get for it in Gov't Bonds or something else here for Lizzie. After all that I have already spent on it I am not willing to throw it away. I have sent Capt. Welsh at two different times over $300. in all & I feel in honor bound to pay Mr Moss for this & Mr Casserly too will have something advanced. If we get one thousand dollars out of it I will feel satisfied & that properly invested here for Lizzie will accumulate a nice little sum by the time she may need it. Please write & send me this formal paper to be used in court.
After Mother's death my mind was in some measure directed from my former affliction & between my distress for Mother's sufferings and a comfort that pervaded my soul in the thought that she was now with Willy the keenest edge of my sorrow seemed to be wearing away. But since I met Capt Smith at the Burnet House steps old feelings have revived and every charm that spring weather awakens sends a pang through my heart which nearly kills me I know this is unreasonable and I try to shake it off. I occupy myself constantly and do the best I can but here, where everything brings gloomy recollections & the contrat with the past is so painful I feel as if reason would desert me.
When I am able I must get away somewhere. I must be nearer you for with all the rest of my cares & sorrow I cannot so well bear the wide seperation as I have hitherto done.
I have no hope that Father will live through the Summer. Philemon's letters are very discouraging Write to me often and beleive me
ever faithfully yours,
Ellen
[EES]
Willock & H. Reese came up the day I did & were very polite -
Lancaster Ohio.,
March 30, 1864
[1864/03/30]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Short as your letter is you cannot imagine how much pleasure it gave me to hear from you yesterday. As you are to be absent from yr. Head Quarters eight or ten days I fear it will be some time before I hear again. The pictures of Chattanooga I have not yet recd. All these things I will take as strict care of as heretofore but the charm died out of them when Willy was taken away. Although I love Tommy just as dearly, I cannot take the Same interest in things for his sake. God no doubt took Willy in mercy to us that we might realise, what we before well knew, the vanity of human fame compared with the immortal life of one child. Heavenwards whence Willy calls, the first & most absorbing aspirations of my heart & soul must constantly tend. The infirmities & cares of earth keep me at a great distance from him - the love I bear to you & others consoles me in what would otherwise be too great a sorrow for my heart but while I endeavour to renew my interest in passing events and keep up a proper & commendable pride & ambition I have no more zest for what I so lately thought too much of, and mechanically & from force of habit do what I heretofore enjoyed. I feel that our great earthly object now, must be to secure a proper & abundant income for our children so that they may not be left to the cold charity of others when we join Willy. I will add five hundred of the money you gave me to the thousand which Hugh paid me to be invested in Gov't Bonds, if you can send me two or three hundred more at the expiration of the month or soon thereafter. Letters from Philemon & Sis give the most unfavourable account of Father's sickness up to the 26th. A dispatch yesterday says, "He is getting along well" - how far he is better I cannot tell but I fear not very much. I will send tomorrow a box with some summer clothes. Write me if you need handkerchiefs or anything else.
Ever your truly affectionate
Ellen.
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
March 31, 1864
[1864/03/31]
[WTS]
I have written you a short letter almost every day since I parted with you dearest Cump at the Burnet House last Tuesday week - I fear my letters may give you some trouble. You have so much on your mind now - such a vast responsibility resting upon you that I ought not to disturb you with my cares and sorrows and I will endeavour not to do so hereafter. Only remember that whilst you are happily diverted in mind and have constant and exilerating exercise of body I am shut up, a prey to gloomy recollections - unable to walk - sickness & increased care before me - and a perpetual quiet without with nothing to direct or distract from the sad longing of a wounded & bruised heart, Nothing but God's dear love and a desire to serve him. Whilst grace is consoling & strong the flesh is weak and human nature will assert its own powers for good or evil, happiness or unhappiness. I enclose a letter from Mrs Swords which will explain itself - this is the day Minnie was to go in but it is dismal here and no doubt it is so there and she will postpone the visit. No later news of Father. I wish you would have Hill get out your papers & let the letters &c. be sent to me I wish to find Carter's receipts which I enclosed to you lately before I pay him. He says that you said there was $130. coming to him. Can you not get along with one Servant less & save Carter's wages in that way? With Father's large family & my own to provide for my current expenses will be heavy. Anne Sears her husband & little girl are here Ann having come in as housekeeper - When we begin to move out she will be needed but I do not need her. Still I must furnish the table - Then there is Rosy whom Father charged me not to dismiss - Then Father's man John who boards here & is at present doing some work at the farm & for himself - he has to be kept. With all this household to cook for Sarah gets no time for washing so an extra woman has to come in for that. By September I hope to be nearer to you & in the meantime we will get along here as smoothly as possible and go to as little extra expense as possible. I beg you Cump to be very careful not to expose yourself by overexertion of mind. Loss of sleep with anxiety of mind are the great evils I dread for you. I have no particular fear of battles - no fear of your not doing all that can be done in your Dep't. but I dread lest you give yourself up to overexertion and suffer yourself to be deprived of a proper amount of sleep. The brain cannot continue healthy when that is done & the body too breaks down. Be prudent and unconcerned like Grant & Halleck and your health will keep up as I trust and pray it may. Think what I would be without you and for the sake of the poor little children let us both preserve life & health as long as possible. Lizzie's hearing has improved already and her health seems excellent again Tommy has resumed his school and got head of his classes again. Rachel is just getting over a slight attack of asthma and Elly is as tough as possible. The weather has been very unpleasant so I cannot get out even to ride. Did you pay Hammond for the dispatches & Silas Miller for the washing of your blankets & the express charge on them. Do write me a few lines as often as you can.
Ever faithfully yours,
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
April 7, 1864
[1864/04/07]
[WTS]
Last evening, dearest Cump, I received your letter of the 2nd with the letter for Mr Moss and the photographs for Lizzie & tommy. I have just added a post script to your letter and have told Mr Moss that I am not willing that Capt Welsh should have the property back for the advances that have been made on it. I have urged him to hurry on the Sale. If we get a thousand dollars clear it will something for Lizzie and I will not lose the chances. It is well understood that you have no time to attend to private business so if you will just sign or write such simple papers as may be called for I will attend to the rest and try to Secure something out of it for Lizzie's future use. I am sorry you did send such a paper as could be presented in Court by Mr Casserly. He will however no doubt write us soon just what is necessary to be done. I wish you would return me the bills Mr Moss enclosed and his letter also. I ought to have all the papers relating to the property together. Send also those receipts I forwarded to you of Carter's. He has proved very trifling - kept a whiskey bottle in the Stable had negroes running there to drink with him - went off three different days & staid all day & the last day came home drunk and talkative. I told him next morning that I had not work for two men & he is out now working by the day. I paid him for the time he worked here - and not for the days he was sky larking and I told him that when you sent on the money for his wages from you I would pay him that. But I will not pay him that until I have seen all those receipts for there is neither justice nor charity in giving negroes so much surplus money when they do not know how to use it. You will find that in keeping two servants for your horses as you did when you had Carter, that only one does the work. Carter says that you told him you owed him $130. Did you deduct the times he was sick? The negroes here have already filled his head with nonsense and exaggerated ideas of his independence and ability to get along. He denies now that he ever was married & I think he either has married or wants to marry Milly. Before you pay Charley for the advance he made to Carter let him give you his account of our journey last October & the $250. I gave him for it and also settle the mess bill of $19. he owes you. As Charley had not hitherto made good use of his money I do not feel disposed to overlook small accounts with him. I see Dan McCook has been promoted - How this must seem to Col. Cockrill who is on every account so far more deserving & whose son even is Dan McCook's senior in the Service as a Colonel! I am very sorry you endorsed his papers therby diminishing the chances of your own veterans. The paper announcing his promotion spoke of his endorsements. He shall pay me my note now of $110. and five years interest at 10 pr. ct. Money never will be more plenty & he never will pay if he do not now. I have written to my Attorney to get the money or get back both lots and sell them. Father has improved very much but he is so disposed to over exertion and imprudence in going about that we greatly fear a return of his violent symptons. Philemon is now spending a week or two at home but will return to Washington where Sis has been obliged to remain with Father. Col. Steele sent the children some home made sugar and molasses and has written to them to come down & make him a visit. They are quite charmed. Minnie has spent two or three days with Mrs Swords and had her tooth plugged. The Col took Mrs Swords out to See Minnie but I sent you the letter I think. John Sherman did not buy the Carpenter farm. Father has taken it back & I have his note for the $4000. He has never said or written a word about that transfer & Philemon says he beleives Father thinks it is all settled. It is a soft spring morning & every sweet note of birds I hear sends a thrill of agony through my heart for the loss of Willy - But why it should reason or faith cannot tell for he hears sweeter music far than that of birds & his joys now surpass our understanding The soul & will may be superior & submissive but the human heart must mourn & mine can never forget what it has lost.
Ever dear Cump your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
April 11, 1864
[1864/04/11]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
I think I wrote to you on Saturday & this is Monday, but Sunday is such an intolerably long lonely day here now, that I feel as if a week had passed since I either heard from you or wrote to you. I hope you will not allow yourself to be confined too closely to the office work, which never agrees with you but set an hour for riding and go in spite of everything. Your health is necessary to the performance of future high duties and you are Serving your country best when you endeavour to preserve it. Do not be troubled about Hugh. He has chosen for himself now let him abide his choice. Father is disabused of the idea he had at first about the matter and Philemon said from the beginning that you were right. I am truly glad that Sawyer saves you so much labor. How anxious I shall be when the next campaign opens, but I trust you will not feel any greater uneasiness or any more unpleasant responsibility than when commanding a Corps. I am so much pleased to know that the 13th Regulars is with you. For Willy's sake I hope you will always keep them near you now. I sent my silver pitcher from Mrs Cline over to Mr & Mrs Reese to See, & they expressed great admiration. Tommy & Lizzie are at school - they have fine plays between school hours. I have a presentiment now that Tommy will not be left to us much longer than Willy was. I do not think Willy's death was the result of any accident occuring without the special providence of God. I think God called him to Himself in love and to Secure him to the happiness for which He created him. In tender love which exceeds all human affection He withdrew him from the world before the shadow of its wickedness had been reflected upon his pure & gentle spirit. Unconscious of evil as an infant, yet with a manly appreciation of all that is noble and good, he was ripe & fresh for heaven. I cannot help feeling, when I look at Tommy, that he will soon join Willy.
Lizzie was quite deaf when I came up from Cincinnati but she is over it now. The little ones are very well and growing fast.
Ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
April 15, 1864 Friday morning.
[1864/04/15]
[WTS]
Your letter of the 11th dearest Cump reached me yesterday and although I was in some measure releived of my anxiety by hearing from you yet I would have been & would now feel much better satisfied had the tone of your letter been more cheerful. You are evidently allowing yourself to be too much annoyed by the disagreeable consequences and attendants of your present position. Men will clamor for office & rank - they will be dissatisfied then friends will be importunate and disappointed and you like everybody else that ever held high position will make some mistakes. I entreat you to worry yourself no more about it - take it calmly & knowing that you are governed by principle & a true desire to do what is best let your conscience sustain you. Do not find fault with those who are struggling for position - they would be poor sticks without the ambition that makes them unwilling to See others outstrip them in the race. I thought you felt indifferent to what I said on the subject but since I find that you are fretted by it I am very sorry I named the subject to you. It would be a comfort to me to have some friend to whom I could communicate all my opinions hopes & fears but if it worries you to hear them I turn my heart entirely from such things and give them up forever. Since Willy's death I have felt no personal worldly ambition - my only desire for Tommy is, that he should be good & use his talents for the greater honor of God but not for the acquisition of worldly position or renown. In regard to Charley and Boyle I have been disappointed, for I had beleived Charley to be as free from the faults & vices of men as I am and I no longer hold them as eminently deserving as I did. My only object in speaking to you of what I consider injudicious recommendations was to preserve you from being justly censurable in the eyes of others - for I still wish to see you as perfect as possible & as free from just cause of reproach and blame. I have told you in a former letter that since seeing you in Cin: - (indeed before that time) I have been convinced that Hugh's suspicions of relationship standing in his way, were unfounded. I told Father so and I think he fully appreciates the true state of the case. I have not a vestige of disappointed feeling in regard to his rank. His present step, if nothing else proves him less deserving than I had supposed him to be. Charley has never said a word to me on the subject of his own promotion - of Hugh's - or of his desire to be with you now. Our letters have been few & breif & he has made no reference of any change. I have no idea what his wishes are but I think it possible that he regards it as easier to avoid bad habits when with you than when on Logan's staff. This is mere surmise - I know nothing about it - Charley never spoke or wrote to me on the subject nor did he ever mention Dan McCook to me. Dan McC. is no more fond of being in the front than Hugh Charley or Col. Cockrill nor has he been half as long or half a constantly to the front or in the face of the enemy as either or any one of them. I have known of his being in Ohio three times to their once - and he resorted to considerable log rolling & buncomb to my certain knowledge - derived not from members of the family but from various other sources & my own observation. As to Kilby Smith - you have paid proper and courteous attention to his Mother - now why don't you quietly lay her letters aside & never think of them again? Why let them trouble you? - why read them?
Captain Dayton writes me that your new horse is a beauty, that you have quite a nice rig. Did you get the box I sent you by express? Do you want more clothes - more handkerchiefs? Write me if you do. I get very few letters except yours and from Sis & Father. Do write me often if only a few lines but let them be cheerful as possible. Tell me that you ride out & sleep well and are not worried to death. Father is very much improved & will doubtless enjoy the summer.
Philemon has advised me to take county Bonds instead of Government Bonds and as Mr Martin says I can give up the G. B.s I think I will take Philemon's advice and get tomorrow $1500 of County Bonds which can be got a par or perhaps below par, & which draw seven pr. ct. As I told you, by the time I get the other thousand which Philemon has to collect & pay me for Hugh I will have five hundred to add it and invest it also without delay. I had thought of lending it and securing by a mortgage on a farm but Philemon thinks I had better put it also in County Bonds. - Philemon has just this moment called County Bonds by some arrangement, which he is just now able to make can be got in New York at par but not here - I have told him I will take $3.000 worth & he will order them payable in 8 years - in New York. If you should not approve write me in time. I will get at least one thousand dollars from Cal. for Lizzie & I think I will put that in Gov't Bonds. I am having Callahan sell my lots off in Leavenworth. It is very unhealthy here this season. The sexton of the catholic congregation has buried more persons since the 1st of Jan than are usually buried in a year. The children are are perfectly well & enjoy every fair day. I long for next winter when I can have them near you. How I do wish this war were over.
Ever your truly affectionate,
Ellen,
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
April 23, 1864 Saturday morning
[1864/04/23]
Dearest Cump:
[WTS]
Last evening I received the first letter I have had from you for a week past and I assure you it made me happy to know that you are well, in good spirits and have time to take plenty of exercise. I am releived too to know that affairs in your Department are progressing according to your wishes. I had feared it might be otherwise. It seems so hard to have anything well done by the Government. The first of May will very soon be here and I must say I dread the anxiety which a forward movement of the Army necessarily subjects us to. Still hope always predominates and I have such a settled conviction that you will do the very best that can be done and such confidence in the justice of our cause that I look for a good ending, no matter what disasters may intervene, I wish you could give Charley some appointment on your Staff or about you - don't you require a Judge Advocate? - he wd do so much better if you had him near you and would dignify him by proper social attention. I do not urge this or anything else upon you, but merely suggest it as what we would like if you can do it. Tom Ewing getting into military position through political influence, when so many others of the family were already in, has stood in the way of Charley's advancement, for Father could not do anything for him after Tom had been so rapidly promoted and it worked against him in the State too, where people argued that the family had had honors enough. Dan McCook came to Columbus & had his Father there repeatedly and did his own log rolling. He learned the wire working with Tom I presume. We will soon know how Luke's case turns out. He will find Father well and deeply interested in his case. For Father's sake as well as for his own I hope he may succeed. "Gen'l. Sherman" - the "15th Corps" - and "Luke Clark" are Fathers themes now, Sis will be home to=day and next week she will go to Chauncey to remain sometime, perhaps until the advent of the baby in June. In a few months more she will have one of her own. Father has taken a case of great importance & large fee in the City Court in Washington & will not be home for two or three weeks. Philemon will go on next week. He has been at Cincinnati & at Chauncey the past week and will be home today. Father is remarkable well Sis writes me. He writes to me nearly every day and judging from that and his hand writing, which is quite firm I do flatter myself he is really improved. He is having twenty five hundred* plum trees - a number of additional apple trees and a quantity of onions besides the regular crops. I have had spring vegetables planted in the garden here - and I have had fifteen pretty evergreens set out in the yard and flowers & flower seeds planted and everything fitted up to look as bright & pleasant as possible to poor Father when he gets home. Willy's grave & Mother's, I have had sodded and ornamented with the handsomest flowers roses shrubs and evergreens that the conservatory & nursery could produce. But nothing save God's mercy can soothe the pangs which the recollections of the past awaken in my heart. - For two or three days past the weather has been very fine and the children are true to their instincts in seeking the sunshine and fresh air. Rachel is more opposed to the house than any of them. Should the baby be a boy of course you know I intend to name it Charles holding Willy as too Sacred to us to be given to another however dear. Should it be a girl I scarcely know what to call it but unless you write me some choice you must expect some such name as Rachel. If you were anxious to have the child named for you of course I would sacrafice my feelings in the matter but you already have agreed with me that it will seem like giving Willy up or transferring too much that we cherished for him to another. I intend to write & invite Father Carrier to Stand for it. He and Aunt Mary, who were both so kind to Willy and so fond of him -- Philemon is Trustee of the Vinton estate make so at the request of Mrs Goddard. I beleive it is quite a profitable trust, and quite in accordance with Philemon's taste in business. If you send me $600. I will certainly take three thousand worth of County Bonds & that will make one thousand that I have added to my money at interest this Spring. Two thousand Hugh has paid me. Father has sold some St. Louis property & as he is able to attend to business he will probably have enough in hand & say nothing to me about that poor Cin: exchange. My expenses will be heavy but Callahan will send me the money for two or three lots soon and that will do me, until you have another quiet time to think of me again. Then, with what Callahan sends me I will save another thousand and so make up the two thousand that are missing Minnie has been put to sleep in a room alone at my request - one girl sleeps in with her. I dread the effects of a crowded room at night. The air is poison to the sleepers.
Ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
* more grapes planted at the farm - one hundred I often feel unhappy about the way Willy slept at the Camp last Summer. I cannot help feeling that his tent was not properly aired. For a long time I went down every night & attended to it but after Minnie got sick & Tommy had to be brought to our tent I started late several nights & feel over the ropes & hurt myself & often it was so dark I was afraid of going to the wrong tent or I would be too sick & tired to Start out at all & so I did not for some time get to See how he slept. I supposed too that Charley would be with him but I afterwards had reason to fear that he had often been up nearly all night and so poor Willy may have been very uncomfortable unless you went down & I cannot remember whether you did go often or not. I know you went sometimes. I don't beleive that either he or Minnie would have been so bad had they not been sleeping in crowded dormitories at school, but Willy's having had the Panama fever in 57 shewed him suscepible of such diseases & his pride prevented his complaining in time. He wished to be brave & manly in your eyes.
Lancaster Ohio.,
Arpil 24, 1864
[1864/04/24]
My dear Papa
[WTS]
I received your letter and was very glad to get it and I think it is full time that I was writing to you there is not much going on here now I wrote a long letter to Minnie the other day Ellie goes to School with me some times Rachel does not ofton She is too little Luke has been here we are expecting Aunt Sissie home from Washington I know I will have to go to School where Minnie is next winter we have got things planted in the yard I was so sorry that you did not come here to see us I am glad you liked Minnies school tell Hill that I got his letter. So many are dying now it is very sickly most evrey one that get sick are in the other part of town I have not heard of any body being sick in this part of the town uncle Philemon has come home from Cincinnati he is going to Washington this week Ellie and Rachel and Tommie send kisses to you I cannot write any more
from your affectionate daughter
Lizzie
[]
Tuesday, April 26th -
[1800/04/26]
Dearest Cump,
[WTS]
Lizzie you will see has improved in her spelling. I do not like to be particular about her writing for owing to the delicacy of constitution she has hitherto evinced I think it better to keep her in a constrained position as little as possible. She is doing pretty well at school. Kate Still brags of Tommy as both smart & good. He has improved wonderfully in many respects. I have little or no trouble with him now compared with what I used to have. He seems perfectly healthy too but who could have seemed more so than Willy up to the last week of his life? Elly & Rachel are the picture of health and two of the busiest little bodies you ever saw. They have got to singing again much better than ever Rachel makes rather a poor cut of it but she can swell the chorus & the more noise the more fun. Sickness & sudden deaths still continue here A good german woman whom we knew well, went to market on Saturday morning came home & got breakfast for her family - & was entirely well but was taken with chill fever delerium & was a corpse in twelve hours from the time of breakfast. The Doctors say it is spotted fever and some attribute its prevalance to the use of rye as a substitute for coffee - ergot being largely partaken of in that way. I have not yet heard how much time Carter lost when sick & I will not pay him until I have all little items definitely stated for he gets a dollar & a half a day in town & flourished ($80) eighty when he came here. He was here yesterday for his money. Milly has got him in tow and I think he intends to marry her & give her the money, I have had Willy's grave sodded & evergreens, white roses, snow drops and geraniums & verbinas set out around it, I would give anything to See him in a dream but I cannot. He is too far removed from me - I must be purified first - but some day we will meet
As ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
April 27, 1864
[1864/04/27]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
The morning is so beautiful that I have been out to ride with the children and have returned too late to write you much of a letter. The pictures received yesterday created quite an excitement. One of the condemned ones was given to Elly & one to Rachel and they are delighted to have pictures of Papa. Each young lady wants an album now to put her picture in. I intended to write to you that I should be indignant at any young lady who might get a lock of your hair as it is too thin to spare any except to me - I enclose some of Rachel's which will do as well being very near the color. You have not sent home your letters & papers - you ought so as to Spare the room in your trunk & to enable me to file them away before my sickness.
Gen'l Grant's picture is excellent - One of yours - in the lot 3 & condemned - I like exceedingly well. I like best however the one of lot one marked 3 next I like the one marked 2 & next the one marked 1. I wonder if you can remember The one I like best is one of the three you like best & has the coat unbuttoned. I would like some of all three you have marked 1, 2 & 3, I like them 3. 2. & 1. -
In haste for the mail
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
May 2, 1864
[1864/05/02]
Dearest Cump:
[WTS]
Fourteen years ago last night we were married & only within the last year have our sorrows commenced in the loss of our darling Willy. This is but the beginning. Should we live long either of us we must expect to mourn over more earthly sorrows and find life grow more harsh and dark & dismal as we approach its termination. God grant that all other sorrows (that may be in reserve for us) may have such a halo of heavenly glory and divine consolation reflected on them as the death of our innocent manly darling boy. His happiness now is unalloyed by any of the numerous troubles sorrows vexations & pains that must have fallen to his lot on earth - he has received from his Redeemer & Judge the sentence of the just, & inherits the kingdom & wears the crown prepared for him from the foundation of the world. The joy is his - the sorrow is ours. If I could only bear it as well as I know & feel the justice of the chastisement I would be fortunate, but nature is too Strong in a mother's heart to be subdued by faith or hope. The best I can do is to bear the pangs of sorrow with submissive will.
This time last year you had just started from Young's Point to make the feint against Haine's Bluff & the new move against Vicksburg. What you have gone through since. More than the incidents of an ordinary life time have been crowded into that one year. I almost fear you may find the quiet of domestic life too tame & monotonous should we ever be so fortunate as to return to it again. But you may well be glad to rest from your labors. On Saturday - this is Monday morning - I received two letters from you - one enclosing a check for $300. and the other your pay account for $564.10. I have become speculative and feel more economical the more money I get - so anxious am I to invest a good Sum for future contingencies. I will write you in a few days just what I have done with all this & how my affairs stand. I expect to put the most of this you send me in one or the other of my investments. In the mean time I hope we will have encouraging news of Lizzie's lots and I will make Callahan supply me for convent expenses. Willock is here and I gave him the pay account to take down to Henry Reese.
Father has never yet written me a word about the exchange of mortgage for Cincinnati property. Did you write him anything on the subject? Sis got home on Friday and will go down to Chauncey next Friday. The calling out of the enrolled companies will take nearly all the hands from the works and the Colonel may be compelled to Stop them which would be a God=send. Philemon went on to Washington early last week. Luke staid at Father's house there - he had not received his sentence or orders when Sis left.
I enclose a copy of a note which I addressed to Condit Smith last Friday. You seemed to think I ought to write & therefore I did so. I received the box of pictures which Tommy is very proud to claim. Nothing, I think, ever pleased him more than your saying in your letter to him that he "had always been a good boy." -You said "be as you have always been - a good boy -" that was worth a great deal to poor Tommy, I am so glad you wrote to him.
I shall feel exceedingly anxious about you now the campaign is about to open. Of course you will continue, as you have always done heretofore, to give me the earliest possible information after any encountre with the enemy, Shew poor Charley all the kindness you can.
Ever dearest Cump your truly affectionate,
Ellen -
[EES]
Pray to Willy & he will secure God's best blessings for you - recommend your soul to God's mercy - & pray to the Saviour who died for us & through the merits of whose death dear Willy entered heaven.
Lancaster Ohio.,
May 6, 1864
[1864/05/06]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Yesterday I received a letter from you dated Nashville May 1st. which of course leaves me in comparative ignorance of your whereabouts as I suppose you had left Nashville when you wrote the letter. You returned the first paper I sent you regarding our exchange of property with Tom Ewing in Leavenworth. I afterwards sent you another paper in which he states that he holds certain lots in trust for me. I hope you will have time to explain that. If he holds any property in trust for me it must either be made over to me, in some other way, or I must give it up entirely, One lot which is in my deed of gift from Father and which Tom does not hold "in trust" - & which I have paid the taxes on he has sold without sending to me for deed or condescending to notify me of the fact. Of course the present occupant has not a good title & cannot hold the lot and I will have it re sold unless Tom refund to me the money for it. He never will answer my letters on business and I have written to Callahan to attend to it & treat it as a business matter & not as a family matter,
But to return to your explanation not one of the lots or pieces of property recited in the paper is named either in Father's deed of gift or Hugh's deed to me - so my title is not good for it & we may as well let it go. When I get your answer to the other paper I enclosed to you. I will write to Callahan to see if he can unriddle it. I mentioned to you that my deed from Hugh for the Budd tract 8 acres was not witnessed. I have since learned that it is not necessary to have witnesses to a deed of Kansas property. The 8 acres of Budd tract is all that is conveyed by Hugh to me & none of those lots or blocks named are embraced in Father's deed to me.
Father writes that he will be home on the 20th. His health seems completely restored. Sis has gone to Chauncey. The call for one hundred days men has taken nearly all the men from Chauncey and the Colonel I beleive has stopped the works. I presume they will soon be here to remain. Sis intends to have the farm & consequently will have it and will live here. You will have to make provision for us in September for when the children go to school - Minnie & Lizzie - I will leave here & will not spend the winter in Lancaster. It is too gloomy & too hard for me & I will not stay.
Should you see Charley tell him that I have written him so many letters without receiving replies that he cannot be surprised if he hears from me no more. As soon as I get my $3.000 invested I will write to you.
The children send best love to dear Papa
Ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
I cannot hear about Carter & I will not pay him until I do hear,
Lancaster Ohio.,
June 9, 1864
[1864/06/09]
[WTS]
With an old stump of a quill pen I will write you from Father's room dearest Cump it being difficult for me to get up & down stairs and the signing of a deed making it necessary for me to wait here until the Notary comes in. For my Lot 9. Blc 2 in Leavenworth which T. E. Jr & wife conveyed to a man a few years ago Tom has just sent me, through my Attorney, a tax receipt for my taxes in 1861. and I have made him a deed for the lot so that the present occupant may have a real title. I am sure I gave Father money that year to convey to Tom for my taxes but I find no evidence of it among my papers & therefore make the deed. Tom has promised Callahan a deed to me for Lots 1. 2. & 3 which he holds in trust for me on which I pay taxes but which are registered as belonging to him & his wife. I will feel sure of the deed when I get it. In the mean time the lots are a bill of expense to me & have been since I got them I have paid taxes on them every year & yet I do not own them & perhaps never will. My Attorney has full instructions to secure the deed and he know my right to the lots. I have written to you several times lately but not as often as I should have done. It seems almost impossible to write as usual when you are on an active and dangerous campaign like the present. I received your dispatch of the 6th and replied to it the same evening. I hope you got my answer It never occurs to me that you may be anxious to hear from us and I sometimes get so that I feel as if even you did not care to hear from me any more. I have been busy but I never let anything interfere with my customary letters when I feel the importance of writing. I must in future be more careful to avoid those omissions as they evidently annoy you. I am so anxious to hear from you all the time that I forget you may wish to hear from us. I do not expect to be sick for a fortnight or at least ten days yet and when my trial is past, I will get Philemon to write you promptly. Yesterday was Willy's birth day - ten years ago yesterday morning God gave him to us. He has taken him to Himself again and I repine not for him the gentle darling but for our own loss & sorrow & our poor appreciation of the blessing we possessed in so lovely a child. His spirit was too pure for earth - we entertained an angel unawares. At the Same hour at which he was born ten years ago I met him in spirit at the feet of our Lord and Saviour - the children were all at church with me - even Rachel (who grows so much like Willy) and in the afternoon we Spent several hours together around his grave tending the flowers watering and trimming them and praying for and to our holy one whom we shall never more see on earth, but whose memory & love grows stronger in my poor heart each day.
Father got off to Chauncey this morning where Sis is snugly fixed & expecting him anxiously. I attended the funeral of Major Giesy & had the flag at half mast &c as had every one else in town. Minnie writes often and is beginning to anticipate her vacations with great zest. I must close in time for the mail. The little ones are all exceedingly well & looking very pretty
Love to Charley.
Ever your truly affectionate
Ellen.
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 7, 1864
[1864/07/07]
Dearest Cump,
[WTS]
For the first time since I went to bed the night of the 10th of June am I able to Sit up and hold my pen. I had been sick all that day & in the evening sent word to Dr Boerstler that I wd have to disturb him before morning. Mrs Duval came up & Staid with me and I had the nurse here. About one o'clock I sent for the Doctor & at twenty minutes past two the baby was born with a cry loud enough to disturb the neighborhood. Like Tommy he was born with a caul over his face which the Dr. had to remove before his cry came forth. I was quite comfortable until Monday - (he was born on Saturday) - when I had a chill followed by high fever which the Dr succeeded in partially subduing, until Friday when I had another more severe chill after which I was so ill & had such raging fever that my life was in great danger for about a week during which time I had to tax my friends to Mrs Duval & Daugherty & Stambaugh to care for me day & night. I suffered such pain & was so exausted that Father telegraphed for Dr. Carter much to Dr. Boerstler's chagrin. Now I am out of bed for an hour or two & trust the experiment may prove beneficial when I shall venture to ride in a few days & thus gather such strength as God may grant me here after. The second day's fever dried my milk entirely & I have the trial of seeing my poor little baby fret & cry for the natural food & the comfort of lying at his Mother's breast & am deprived of the pleasure of gratifying him. But I must thank God that I am spared to my children & not murmer at the trials He sends me, Minnie will be home on Saturday - poor child she is anticipating great happiness.
I recd a letter from Genl Webster containing check for $517.[49/100];. If that be a pay account it is short of your last one - have they taxed you again or what is the cause? - It is late. I am interrupted - All the children baby included are perfectly well.
As ever
Ellen
[EES]
Write to me.
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 9, 1864
[1864/07/09]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
I wish you would send me a permit for "Lenard Butch" to sell papers & periodicals within your department & within your lines. He is one of the few loyal catholics of this town an intelligent man & a first rate Citizen. He enlisted long ago & served until discharged in wretched health. His bad health continues as his appearance proves & the Doctor has recommended change &c. He is not able to quit business (he is a silver smith) and travel & is therefore anxious for this permit. Please send it to me for him. I rode a little yesterday being helped to the pheaton & in again. I am very weak & can scarcely write this morning. Tommy has a hoe & a rake & works perseveringly in the yard. Rachel has passed her third birthday - she is very large & robust - the image of Willy but is not so pretty - her features not being so regular nor her expression so lovely. She has more vivacity than he, Indeed she is a regular old "Grand Mother Sherman" & gives promise of ability to take care of two or three generations & boss them all. I greive so constantly about Willy notwithstanding all my efforts against it that I sometimes fear my mind is not in a healthy condition It is to get where I will have more to divert my mind & occupy in foreign matters that I have wished to get away from here. Of course I wd make no move while your campaign is unfinished,
Minnie is coming today & the children are all on the alert. Elly seems a little delicate this Summer & Lizzie is better than she has ever been.
Yours ever
Ellen.
[EES]
Mr Casserly writes that he can sell Lizzie's lot. Please send Power of Attorney for him to do so.
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 16, 1864
[1864/07/16]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Minnie is writing to you this morning so I will give you but a short letter in answer to your good long one of the 9th inst. I have written you two or three times since I was able to hold a pen but I presume my letters had not reached you when you wrote for if they had your complaint was quite an exaggerated one, Now that I am growing stronger I will write regularly & shall hope to hear from you as often as you can possibly write. I expect to hear soon of your being in possession of Atlanta. I wish you could defeat & scatter Johnson's Army. Mr Casserly writes from California that he can sell Lizzie's lot if you will send him the Authority to do so. Please do this at once send your paper to me to sign. I am very anxious to have it sold to pay Mr Moss & to get all our means together & nicely invested. Do attend to it at once. Did I send you Lizzie's deed? Please remember to answer me.
I have been ill indeed - in great danger of death and am left weak & needing medical treatment & without nourishment for the babe, I have succeeded in getting a wet-nurse who is a young healthy widow with a babe old enough to wean which she has put out with a friend of hers in town. Charley thrives grows & fattens & is very strong & healthy with every evidence of the highest intellect and a good disposition "barring" a smart fit of temper now & then. The children doat on him, particularly Tommy & Lizzie. Tommy asked me how long babies wore long dresses & when I told him six or eight months he begged me to put pantaloons on Charley then. He walks with him in his arms watches him & plays with him & Says twenty times a day he is so glad the baby is not a girl. I have not told you how very strongly he resembles you in form face & shape of head. The likeness is striking & I am delighted to See it. All are well and send love to dear Papa - I will attend to your requests about monument &c. Mr Bowman got that letter long ago - I have ordered a good many copies of August No. of U. S. S. M. Regards to all friends. I have not told you of the death & funeral of poor Jim. I was able by great exertion to attend the funeral. Hoyt was here & was my escort. Willock & Capt. Moulton were also here. I will write you more about it. In reply to your telegram of 13th I told you of his death.
Ever your affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 20, 1864
[1864/07/20]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Why you have not recd my letters and all the telegrams we have sent I cannot imagine, since the mails are regular and the telegraph leads to your tent and you "hear through it from all parts of the world. Ellen Lynch's letter I directed lying flat in bed when not strong enough to be propped up with pillows or to hold a pen ten minutes. I knew the letter contained a useless appeal' I did not care whether my direction was legible or not. The next thing I was compelled to scrawl was a letter to Minnie giving directions where to go in the City, after her exhibition & telling her what to bring home & what to leave and enclosing rail road ticket. I was still exceedingly weak & still unable to Sit up in bed & my hand was so tremulous that neither she nor the Sisters could read the whole of the letter. Before I ought to have written at all and as soon as I could hold up my head I wrote to you & I have since written every few days. Very poor & very short and very uninteresting my letters are but they have certainly been quite as frequent as you could desire & why you have not received them I cannot imagine. Your anxiety has caused you to exaggerate th time too, in your own mind. You write on the 13th July to Philemon & you say it is more than a month since you recd his dispatch saying I was much better. That was a mistake of ten days at least for the baby was born on the 11th and on the 13th I was very comfortable & it was not until Philemon had after that date gone to Notre Dame, attended the two exhibitions & been home two days that he telegraphed or could in truth telegraph you that I was better, for I was not out of danger when he got home, I am sorry my letters have not gone promptly and sorry there were no more to write to you whilst I was sick. Sis wrote from Chauncey that I was doing well for she knew nothing about my illness at first & did'nt give herself much concern about it when she did know it but took it for granted I would eventually recover.
I have been sufficiently faithful as a correspondent, in sickness & in health to secure me from any unkind suspicions of neglect on your part. For some time Lizzie with all the other children were at Mrs Daugherty's & for days longer I took no note of time,
The few dispatches that were recd from you were promptly answered & Minnie did not get home until the 9th inst. when Mr Willock very kindly sent her up with an escort, after taking her to Mr Slevin's for the night. Since you desire to know the truth I will tell you at once that my health is in such a state that I must have the best medical treatment & for that purpose must go away from here. Dr. Carter from Columbus was telegraphed for when I was ill & came down, arriving at midnight. I may go to Columbus to be treated by him or I may go further. My dangerous illness was the consequence of neglect of treatment which Dr. Carter told me (when here to See Mother) I sadly needed but which I deferred submitting to, partly because I dread it, partly, because I could not be near a Physician experienced in such diseases & partly because you are so strongly opposed to my leaving Lancaster. and partly because you think it unnecessary & merely a notion or a whim on my part. It has come to a crisis & the fear of leaving my children Motherless must rule me now & encourage me to do what I consider necessary to the preservation of my life & health. Much as I longed to See Willy & indifferent as I felt to life when ill when I began to recover I shuddered at the idea of having been taken away from the children now that you could not possibly be near them, They are all in very fine health & enjoying the summer & its small=fruits - strawberries goose berries currants, whorttleberries and blackberries. Rachel is not even satisfied with that, but yesterday climbed to the top of the ladder and helped herself to a green apple. The ladder had been placed there for gathering apples for sauce. On reproving her for that I was told that she frequently climbed the lattice work & eat green grapes. She saw me pull a tooth for Tommy today & I have made her beleive that I will pull one of her teeth each time she picks a green grape or green apple or climbs the ladder, Elly is very anxious to have her ears pierced for ear=rings. One day Mrs Dau - pretended to be piercing them & gave her such a good stick with a needle that she expected Elly to cry "hold" - but not she - on the contrary she was quite worried that she did not put the needle through. Minnie looks very well although she is much thinner than she was & she tells me she has had a return of the dysentery several times. I have understood that that disease is liable to return. Lizzie is stronger this summer than she has ever been. I am anxious to send her with Minnie to the school & Minnie is very anxious to have her go.* And I cannot conclude to Send Lizzie to Reading because the meat they have on the table there is seldom fit to eat. The fare all but the meat, is excellent but I do not think Lizzie would keep well without fresh meat. The Sisters told me, when you & I were there that the meat they got was miserable and it seemed impossible for them to get better. If I took them to Notre Dame I could also take Tommy & live up there cheaper than anywhere else and I would be glad to go there after getting through with the Doctor. What do you say to it? I forgot to Say that Dr. Carter is a brother in law to Maj McCoy. He is Professor in the Medical College in Columbus & his speciality is women's diseases. When he was down here to See Mother last spring I had some conversation with him about my own health. I like him personally very much & I have more confidence in him than any one I know in the West, but I sometimes feel that I would greatly prefer the opinion of Dr Miegs of Philadelphia, who has more reputation & has had more experience in women's diseases than any one in the country. I do not know yet what I will do, but of course I will let you know before deciding upon anything. God knows I should feel comforted if the war were over and I could have some of your time and care for I have a great charge on my hands for an invalid. I will as heretofore continue to do the best I can and use the judgement God has given me in governing my own actions, always striving to conform to what I beleive to be your wishes - as far as the circumstances surrounding me will admit,
I enclose two notes which will explain themselves. You know Dr. Wagenhals. His son is really as young as he says and as the Dr. stands high in the community here I wish you would give him the certificate he desires, His son is reported at Nashville in today's paper where the usual list appears. "Mary White," is Mary Garaghty - John's second daughter. John has moved here with his family and in the present high prices of things with his limited means he finds it very hard to get along. Mary lives with them. If her husband be a good soldier I wish you would say a word for him to the commander of the Regiment the Capt, of the Co. or someone -that is if you think it right & proper to do so. In sending these requests - and I send but few of those that are made of me - I do not desire you to conform to the wishes of the parties unless you think it right & proper to do so, but I would like to have some answer to them if you can think of them when writing. I am now most anxious to have that power of Attorney for Mr Casserly to Sell Lizzie's lot and to know from you whether I ever sent you Lizzie's deed.
I told you, in my dispatch and I also wrote to you that your brother Jim was buried here on the 12th inst. I had been very feeble - even more so than usual the day before but that day the weather was fine and I felt remarkably well and so went to the funeral Hoyt being my escort. It took place of course from Mr. Reese's where short religious ceremonies were conducted. I took Minnie Lizzie & Tommy. His death was quite unexpected although he had been indisposed for several days.
During the time I was ill Elizabeth shewed so much concern that when I was well enough to notice anything I sent for her to come over and she did so, several times. I have not been there except the day of the funeral because I am not able to go anywhere. I ride but I cannot walk except very slowly & a very short distance. I have not yet been able to get to the church & after sickness the church is always my first visiting place, I have been to Willy's grave & if I must live in Lancaster I will move somewhere near it so that I can walk there everyday. Poor Dan McCook is gone. I am very very sorry and feel truly sad about it, particularly as I fear whilst serving his country he forgot his God. What a pity that you who cd make the service of yr. country the service of God also should lose the best fruits of all such labors & privations, What is time & what is earthly glory to poor Dan McCook now? And our Willy - how differently he now views those things from his home in heaven May his prayers be your shield & guard until we all join him to be seperated no more. I have described the baby to you & told you how exactly his form & the shape of his head face forehead & form resembles you. His eyes are hazel, fine & large and his nose is very large. He seems the quickest & most intelligent of all my babies - notices more at this age - six weeks than the rest did in three months. Tommy has assumed the patronage of him already & talks constantly of how he intends to do with him. If I hear that my letters ever reach you I will write often.
As ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 25, 1864
[1864/07/25]
[WTS]
We have all felt much shocked & greived today dearest Cump by the sudden news of the death of Gen'l McPherson. I fear there is no doubt about it & besides my regret for him personally I lament the loss you sustain in him at this most trying hour, I am painfully anxious for further news for the hand to hand fight has come as I knew it must and many good men must fall. Poor Dan McCook is gone & now Gen'l McPherson. He is associated in my mind with dear Willy because of our visits to his house which was the last house that ever Willy was in - his table was the last at which he sat. O my lost darling, could I have only suspected how sick you were it would save me many a pang now, but your home is in heaven & your joys are infinite and eternal therefore why should I greive - What a dream life is! how quickly it is cut short. Poor McPherson - tell me if he lived long enough to be aware of his fate.* - Even a minute for repentance were better than nothing. God is merciful but he is just and men should not forget him as they do. The last morning we were at Gen'l McPherson's I asked dear Willy, when brushing him up a little, if he said his prayers the night before & he said he had forgotten because his head ached badly. I then said well try and remember them every night Willy: if those around you do seem to forget God you must remember Him & always remain a faithful christian. He answered so sweetly & so promptly I will try Mama never to forget them again. And when I brushed his hair I said now don't you feel satisfied with your hair Willy when you find it is so much like Papa - he said yes with one of his proud smiles - I said "I always told you I loved red hair the best & that your hair was the prettiest in my eyes of any." He went out of the room so happy but he soon returned to it to lie on the floor with his head on a pillow. As he ate nothing that morning nor after that how could I have been insensible to his danger so long. I hate myself when I think of it and it greives me to death to think what I might have done had I been more keen sighted & more anxious
June 26th I stopped here to go to Master Charley who had slept all evening & had not been undressed & rubbed up for the night - whilst getting rubbed he grunts his satisfaction at such a rate that I am tempted to continue it a long time.
We have just received your dispatch and all feel delighted. We have some hopes that McPherson is not killed. I close in haste,
As ever your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
July 30, 1864
[1864/07/30]
[WTS]
I thought I would have had a few lines from you, before this, dearest Cump, in answer to my numerous letters which you must have received immediately after making your serious complaint against me for not writing. I have always written you from my sick bed & I wrote this time as soon as I could be propped for ten minutes with pillows, high enough to See the paper and as soon as I could lift my hand to guide a pen. This is Saturday and I have a good deal to See to for the children and I am going to get to confession for the first time since early June. The new church is so near that I can hear the music & the Priests voice in preaching very plainly. I will write you a long letter tomorrow, telling of the State of my finances and giving you an idea of my convent expenses in boarding a houseful of servants & hiring my own work extra Potatoes are two dollars & have been three dollars a bushel and everything else is in proportion -
The children are well so far but I feel very apprehensive about the green fruit which lies on the ground all the time. The girls get the best fruit and the children generally pick up the refuse. It seems impossible to watch them. There were an unusual number of deaths from dysentery last year and already some young persons have died of it here this year.
Give my love to Charley. I answered his letter the other day & will write Soon again if I ever get more leisure.
I have as wet nurse for "Charley Sherman" the wife of one of your soldiers & if you enquire you will find he is a first rate one too. Father knows him well. William Gannon is his name & he belongs to Co A. 17th O. Reg, There are two brothers in the Same company I beleive. All send love. The children are out doors so much I cannot make them write.
As ever yours,
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
August 1, 1864
[1864/08/01]
[WTS]
Philemon has written you a long letter dearest Cump, which I enclose with this. Although written at my request it required no persuasion to induce him to write since he fully appreciates the difficulties of my situation and agrees with me in the mode of releiving myself. You write me that if I am not content in Father's house to rent a house in Lancaster &c. There is not a house for rent here that you would have me go into and if there were, it would offend and wound Father too much to have me withdraw from his house simply to be by myself. And were I willing to do it I could not remain long as when he would happen to be a little lonely here for ever so breif a period he would expect me to come back. If Sis had left as she had all along told me she was determined to do as the Colonel would not run the works then I should have been obliged to Stay with Father. Now they have decided to stay indefinitely and Sis has tried Chauncey fully determined not to go there again. So the Colonel will run the works, Sis will live here and Father's carriage will be sent for him once in three or four weeks to make a visit. I am housekeeper & caterer for the three families and it is a task which I am not willing to perplex myself with even if I were disposed to Spend all my means in supporting a troupe of servants the half of whom I cannot control.
Again if I do keep house here in L. I must be seperated from Minnie & Lizzie for it is important that Lizzie should now be put to school in earnest. I cannot put her to School without being able to See her often during the first year for she is so delicate & so peculiar that I would feel it necessary to watch that no serious effects followed the confinement & seperation from home. At Reading they are quite as distant from me in point of time & expense as they would be at Notre Dame. My desire for some time has been - (if I could not be with you) to rent a little home for myself near the School where I put the girls. My first visit to Reading was to see if I could secure a place there & I found that I could not, At Notre Dame - or rather at South Bend I can and find my principle society & pleasure at the School.
The soil is sandy there like Cal: & rains and weather that would make other roads impassable improve it & make it delightful. With old Sam and a little carriage I would be independent - If I attempt to keep Sam here I can no longer resist Father's frequently formed arrangements to Send him on the Chauncey trips and one such trip will use him up forever. John - the man - says - that if Sam is ever driven down in Father's carriage I never will see him again. About the schools - I mentioned in a former letter the objection in regard to diet at Reading. The Sisters told me when I was there that it was impossible for them to get tender meat & Minnie says she did not eat meat twice whilst there. Lizzie could not get along without a generous meat diet, at least I fear she could not.
As to any other school, except this or Notre Dame, it is not worth while thinking of them at present, for all the best schools are in the Cities and our means would not enable me to live in a City at the rates of rents &c. &c,
If you are willing to have Minnie return to Notre Dame, I will take her & Lizzie there & then get a house, or secure unfurnished rooms somewhere in S. Bend for myself during the winter when I can send Tommy also to school. Emily can get my things packed & ready here and I can come down & take up the little ones. I could get board or perhaps even rooms, with the use of a room for kitchen in some of the buildings adjacent to the Academy but I think I would prefer the town. I know some of the people there & a Mr Guthrie there married a Miss Ewing. If there be any hope of our spending the winter with you I would like to put the two girls there & remain at the Sisters until near the time when we could go to you.
I do not know as cheap a place to live, for its advantages, as South Bend and I would prefer it to any other on account of the schools and the number of friends I have among the members of the order and on account of Aunt Mary spending so much time there. I could better leave any portion of my family there than anywhere else for however kind Father may be - and he is truly devoted to the children - he cannot secure them a woman's care were I away & they in a house alone here in Lancaster. Mrs. Daugherty and other friends are most kind but I would not like to have my family scattered again as they have been at times in the past - some at school, some here & some with you. Up there if I were to take a portion of the family to see you any or all of them could be safely left there. You know that Ann Sears is here with her family of three. her husband herself & one child. The object in getting her (Sis engaged her last winter) was that there might always be some one here to keep the house comfortable even if Sis & I might both be absent. We have a family of twenty one - the most of them Servants & we generally have over twenty four to each meal - chance visitors. &c. &c, Where servants fare is like that of the family it costs enormously to keep so many when provisions are so high - I pay between three & four dollars a week for butter - for meat twenty five to thirty dollars a month &c. &c, This with the expense of clothing our children & my other expenses takes all you send me and a portion of the money I had hoped to Save from the sale of the Leavenworth lots. I have got about ($1,500-) fifteen hundred dollars from there but I do not think I can save much. Father has an offer for the Topeka farm and he says if he sells it he will take notes running six, eight & ten years. secured by mortgage on the farm principally, & partly on a farm the man owns near Chillicothe and give them to me & release his farm from mortgage. You have always told me not to take mortgage on property so far west & I have told Father so but he forgets and he will forget even if I tell him again because he thinks he knows best. I do not like to refuse to take this and I hate to have him offer it to me. Should he succeed is selling the farm what shall I do? If not near him I could avoid it much better than when here in the house.
Now Cump, I want you to treat all these things as confidential, and I beg you not to either write or speak of them, seriously or otherwise, to any one but Charley & Philemon. If you feel like complaining of me do not complain to Philemon. To have a large family of growing children on my hands without assistance of their Father's presence and to have all the other responsibilities that are resting on me at present entitles me to look to you for kind expressions of sympathy. Do not write to Father on the subject or you will add greatly to my embarassment for he will then feel angry with me & so express himself & I am not so light hearted that I can hear those things now - -
[EES]
August 2, 1864
[1864/08/02]
[WTS]
I am so often interrupted by the baby the other children & the multitudiuous household calls that I can scarce keep the thread of my subject or finish one letter at a sitting, The baby is very good and his nurse has an abundance of wholsome milk but I like to attend to him myself as too much care cannot be bestowed upon a little one under three months. You will laugh at me for saying it, but I will say, nevertheless, that I think him to most intelligent & the brightest child I ever saw in any family. He is pretty too and so fat and plump & Sweet that we cannot get to nurse him enough each taking turns. Rachel says it is hers and loudly denounces Elly for saying it is part her baby. Lizzie is jealous whenever she sees Minnie have him & Minnie wants to take him from me when she sees me with him & even Emily avails herself of every excuse to drop her work and walk with him about the floor. He is in the yard morning & evening & I bathe him in a little bath tub which I assure you he enjoys -
Elly slept in my room last night & as soon as she got awake this morning she said "O! Mama I had such a sweet dream about brother Willy." I was thinking of Willy just before & at the moment she waked and I know his dear spirit was with us & is indeed always near, always watching over us & offering pure prayers to God his loving Father for us - to Christ his Saviour, God & Brother - to the Spirit of all wisdom & love and to that holy Mother whose prayers he invoked at the dread hour of his agony approached. Would to God our labors were done & our crown secure as his darling boy.
Lizzie has a return of that poison in her face, she had at Vicksburg. I will give her medicine. I have much more to Say but must close now
Write often as you can when you have some rest. Love to Charley &
beleive me ever your truly affectionate,
Ellen,
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
August 9, 1864
[1864/08/09]
Dearest Cump;
[WTS]
Today I received your letter of the 2nd in which you speak of being indisposed. I feel uneasy for fear you may be sick but were you ill we would certainly hear of it through the papers. What a tedious campaign you have and how hard & continuously you have to work! I think there is more interest felt in your progress than Grant's and more hope of great result reached by you than by him. I quietly await the end, praying for the best and trusting that all will come out well after a time - if it be a tedious & a weary time. I have not written you within the past week because I could not have any assurance that my letters reached you - You never spoke of receiving any - (but the one) - after your serious complaint to me and to Philemon. I cannot write to you now with much ease, - to tell the plain truth; because I sometimes fear to make my letters too long - so that you will not or cannot take time to read them. If I make them short it seems idle or too business like to write many of them - I fear to discuss the subjects you write upon lest you laugh at or scorn my limited knowledge & I cannot give you my own feelings troubled hopes and fears with any hope of sympathy indeed without exciting your anger against me - You know my heart is ever true to you You know I will keep you properly advised of the condition of our little family & therefore you need never be troubled by the non receipt of letters for when ill you cannot come to releive me & if dead my friends would certainly notify you. There is no one in L - you like or care to hear about & as I said before you seem more than tired of all I say or have to communicate. If I had the happy faculty that some have of describing scenes repeating conversations I could interest you in regard to the children, greatly. They are very happy this Summer. Minnie enjoys her vacations in a quiet way. Elly is nearly five years old. Rachel says she is six & she will not admit that Elly is older than her. The baby is growing splendidly and continues to give evidence of sound and vigorous mind and body with a good disposition also.
Father is well and always anxious to hear from you. I think I told you that Tom's family are keeping house in town having rented a furnished house.
When Charley writes to me again I will write to him. I have written to him very often lately but perhaps he does not get my letters either.
Hill's time is nearly out but he is anxious to continue in your service & I hope you will retain him. I would like to hear about him. Capt. Dayton does not write to me any more All send love.
I am as ever
your truly affectionate
Ellen
[EES]
Lancaster Ohio.,
August 13, 1864
[1864/08/13]
[WTS]
You must all be quite worn out with your tedious campaign in the midst of Summer. Fortunately you have a more healthy position there, than that at the Big Black - O! earth! how fleeting are your joys. Think of Willy & McPherson not a year ago riding with you from your Camp on the day before we left, both in splendid condition & both as full of earthly promise as man & boy could be. Where are they now?
Yesterday Tommy received by express from Cincinnati the uniform suit for which Captain Moulton had him measured in March. With the suit was a kind letter from the Captain to Tommy offering the present &c. &c., The August number of the U. S. S. Magazine came yesterday with a portion of Mr. Bowman's article. It is to be contin