Sherman Letters

Search Index

CSHR 9/32

Steamer Golden Age,
April 21st, 1855 Saturday 11 o'clock
[1855/04/21]

My beloved husband;
[WTS]

Mr. Kellogg having kindly supplied me with ink I cannot withstand the temptation to write you altho' several days must yet elapse ere we reach the Isthmus where our letters must be sealed. It gives me pleasure to be able to assure you that our passage has thus far been a first rate one in every particular. The weather has been calm/ fair/ and delightfully cool. The vessel has a more motion than any that I have hitherto been on, but the motion is so gentle and easy that altho' it is considerable, but few are affected to sea sickness. For my part I have stood it bravely -- not missing a meal. Mr. Winter escorted me to the dinner table at three o'clock the first day. I took a bite of meat and them beat a hasty retreat to my quarters; but one of the boys bringing in a supply to me shortly after I fell to work upon it with vigor and demolished it all. Next morning I was dressed and ready for seven o'clock breakfast and since have done justice to the really good fare which is offered. I have a seat at the Captain's end of the table where all the gentlemen are extremely polite. So far I have declined wine beyond taste but how it will be when we get into hot weather I cannot positively say. I secured to myself this morning, through the agency of Patrick the indomitable, no less than twenty ice tickets. Of course I paid for them and intend to use them too. Mr. Winter is just the escort that I would have chosen. He waits upon me to the table, takes me to promenade on deck, secures me a seat there always, and with the kind willingness of a brother most cheerfully discharges all the little duties of an escort. The Commodore is courteous and polite -- he (or some one especially sent in his stead) inspects the rooms every day at eleven o'clock so that secures the prompt attendance of the servants to them. One of the boys cleans up. The Stewardess only attends to the wants of the ladies and children. She combs my hair every morning before breakfast so I get along nicely in respect to my wardrobe. Nothing has been said against my having my trunk in my stateroom. I have not been able to get another key but I find it unnecessary as we all leave our doors open and I keep my trunk locked. Following your advice I have kept my room to myself and I find it more agreeable to be alone. Experience shows my room to be one of the best -- if not the very best on the ship. The limes you brought me are very grateful now and Patrick is quite expert in preparing for me a glass of lemonade. Patrick lives by his wits and flourishes largely. He called for his stateroom the first night but was compelled to rest satisfied with a sofa in the cabin where he watched his opportunity and seized the blanket of some unsuspecting "Pike" who left it for a moment. Finding that I did not quite approve of his manner of making himself comfortable he negotiated the next day and finally brought the steward to terms and secured a blanket of his own. We have already had some evidently [illegible] of Mrs. Bowman fine games of euchre. Mr. Aspinwall and Mrs. Duncan playing against Mr. Chauncey and myself. The first play we beat them every game but the last was more evenly contested and truth compels me to admit that they won the conquering game. Mr. Chauncey is full of fun but I think I admire Mr. Aspinwall most of the two. Mr. Chauncey resembles your mother's family greatly. Mrs. Duncan is getting along very nicely with her little girl in the care of whom Miss Simpson assists her. Captain Averil is very attentive and polite to them both and they feel as well satisfied and happy about the trip as I do. Doctor McNulty and Miss Simpson promise us some songs tonight as the Doctor has a guitar and they both play and sing. About nine o'clock this morning we came up to a Whaler that had been in sight all morning. Our vessel was stopped and a boats-crew put out to us. They got papers and tobacco and row'd back, delighted men. I understood their vessel to be the William Lee many months out. Whatever the name she certainly looked very beautiful in the morning sun, and it pleased me to see the men made happy by news from home altho' it was only of general character. We have not yet passed Cape St. Lucas but when we do we must look out for hot weather. I have been introduced to Mr. Burgoyne who sits opposite me at table. He seems very quiet but pleasant withal. Mrs. Crawn and her daughter, Mrs. Willy and her sister with the little children are all getting along well and seem agreeable and happy. I cannot allow myself to think of my little darlings. Surely there is no joy in life without its portion of bitterest alloy. My kindest love to Mr. and Mrs. Bowman and Mr. Nisbet, to Mrs. Casserly and Mrs Stevens. I will write to Mrs. Bowman. Please acknowledge to Mrs. Stevens a note and the cakes which I received from her at the boat. Kind regards to Mrs. S. -- Look to the children at night sometimes for fear Biddy may sleep too soundly. As ever your affectionate

Ellen
[EES]

Steamer 'Golden Age'
April 22nd 1855 Sunday noon
[1855/04/22]

To Mrs. Bowman
[]

This day last week we were all together, my dear friend and now I am far out in the wide waste of water with only hope, to cheer me in the bereavement of my little ones. I think of you all I assure you but most I think of my darling baby who for ten months has slept in bosom and now knows my care no more -- and my little Lizzie who missing "Mama" is sadly missed in turn. Dear little helpless things should God return me to them I shall feel as grateful and happy as if the gift were new. And all my life long shall I feel grateful to you, my kind friend, for assuming, as I know you have, a Mother's place towards my treasures. I indulge in frequent reveries and fancy that I see you all at every hour in the day. The morning bath comes first with Willey splashing about in his fine new tub and Lizzie timidly entreating not to be put in -- "Oh don't." I hope you may persuade her to become fond of it again. And then the little birds Dick with his loud song & little Dame. Tip with her two little nestlings and the remaining all important eggs. The hunt for eggs -- the gambols of Fanny and the ride in the new carriage. The pleasure and delight of the children in all. The lunch or as Lizzie says 'cup-o-tea', the afternoon stroll, the return of Papa, Mr. Bowman and Uncle Ben from business and then the dinner, when the day closes and angels watch over my little ones till morning. These are the pleasures that beguile my hours and steadily I resist all that would o'er shadow them. I think of their dear Father too kind and too indulgent but contributing by his presence to their happiness -- of you -- so much more gentle and patient than myself winning their love and bestowing your own -- of Biddy so faithful constant and so kind and how can I feel that they are not happy and in health. Kiss them for me and tell my Lizzie that I have gone to get a great many pretty things for her and Willy and for Biddy and Mary too. I feel uneasy whenever I think of Biddy's was[?]hing lest she should sleep too soundly after. The night before I left I went quite late into the room and called her several times but she did not waken until I touched her. I am sure you will caution her about keeping the room well-aired and not covering the children too much at night. Should Willy have trouble with his teeth and be sick at night Biddy could go into the front room where she could have the crib beside the sofa bedstead and Mary could sleep in the room with Lizzie. I forgot to mention that should Willy need a new hat before I get back Biddy can get money of Mr. Sherman and you will find good felt ones -- such as he has -- at a hat store in Washington St. btw. Montgomery and Kearney. The lining should be taken out of the one he has if it be too small. But now let me give you some items of ship gossip and the report of our progress. As I have told Mr. S. I keep my Stateroom to myself and find it very comfortable and pleasant although the weather is now exceedingly warm. Until today my black silk dress has done good service but now thin dresses are in requisition. Mrs. Duncan seems to keep as cool as a thinner person could. Glove(?) is very attentive but not so as to prevent many acts of politeness to others. Mr. Payne's little girl was quite indisposed for a day or two but she is now well. Mrs. Duncan seems to have no trouble with her little girl. Mrs. Crawn and her daughter I find very agreeable ladies and I have renewed my acquaintance with Mrs. Willy and her sister. Mr. Willy preached in the upper saloon this morning. You remember the poor girl who sat so near me handling my flowers and making remarks that Mr. Sherman treated so cavalierly? She turns out to be what we supposed her either half-witted or crazy. She appears in all sorts of costumes -- the bloomer being her favorite as attracting most attention. She has sported no less than five crape shawls and this morning her hair was adorned with rosettes of pink, blue and yellow tissue paper. Last night she waltzed and sang on deck and attracted such a boisterous crowd that the Captain sent the Stewardess to take her down to the second cabin. She was greatly incensed and says she has a revolver with which she will execute vengeance upon the Captain should he offer to put her in irons. Fortunately for me she has made no more advances towards an acquaintanceship. Mr. Aspinwall and Mr. Chauncey do much to enliven the voyage. I regret that they stop at Panama as they tell us they purpose doing -- to attend to some business. It is uncertain what vessel connects with this -- if the Illinois we will have room enough but if the North Star we shall be crowded. We have about six hundred in the Steerage and two hundred and fifty cabin passengers. We go into Acapulco for water. As soon as I reach New York I shall write again. I have written to Mr. Sherman and shall enclose a note here to Biddy, with a daisy to Lizzie. Please send me some of the children's hair. And now I must ask what I could not trust myself to speak. Should either of the children die in my absence -- have a daguerreo-type taken. I have left a little suit for Willy. For Lizzie her best little dress or one of Willy's will always be clean and ready. Give my love to Mr. Bowman and tell him I beg he will not be jealous of your attention to the children. I do not feel that there is much danger but the heart of man is not as tender as ours. My love to Mr. Nisbet, and ask him if I shall bring the idol of his heart o[?]ut in a cou[?]ple of ships. Give my love to Miss Casserly and tell her that her tans are as grateful now as her presence is ever. May God's blessing ever attend you is the prayer of your truly affectionate friend,

Ellen B. E. Sherman
[EES]

Steamer Golden Age;
April 23rd 1855 Monday morning
[1855/04/23]

My beloved husband:
[WTS]

You see I am indulging already my passion for letter writing having written a long letter to you on Saturday and one yesterday to Mrs. Bowman. At the breakfast this morning Mr. Chauncey told me that we would pass the Sonora today and stop to put aboard letters. What a privilege it seems to me now to communicate with you and how doubly dear you seem when distance seperates us. I trust in God that you may continue well during my absence and that the dear children may not seem to you heavy a responsibility. Should either of them be called to Heaven before I see them again you know I dare not question the mercy and justice of God's decrees. Only let them be as happy and free from suffering here as care can make them. It is exceedingly warm here now and my Willy could not stand it well. Dear Lizzie might have come. I have told you of the politeness and attention to me of the gentlemen of your acquaintance. Mr. Payne has kindly offered me all the latest magazines. Mr. Aspinwall is very polite and so polished and agreeable that his attentions are worth having. I regret that he and Mr. Chauncey stop at Panama to survey the harbor and we will not have the advantage of their patronage going up. Mr. A. told me that he had told the Purser the first day out not to let any one in my room in making the changes they found necessary to make. Did I tell you we had to send back six stowaways before getting under way? I went on deck when you left the Steamer and thought I saw you on the wharf. We have three crazy women in the second cabin -- one being the poor girl who leaned upon me so to examine my flowers the morning we started. The Stewardess takes them in charge and they get along well.

Give my love to my friends, Mrs. Casserly and Mr. and Mrs. Stevens and remember me kindly to all the young gentlemen in the bank. I console myself with the hope that you will not suffer so much from Asthma at our new home, I assure you I have most pleasing recollections of the home which is nearer my heart than I thought a California home could be. I feel a little uneasy about your contemplated wanderings in my absence. I think you intended to make various trips.

Believe me as ever most truly Your affectionate wife,

Ellen B. E. Sherman
[EES]

Steamer Golden Age;
April 28th Saturday
[1855/04/28]

[WTS]

On Monday, my dearest husband, I closed letters to you and Mrs. Bowman, it being supposed that we would on that afternoon meet the Sonora and send letters aboard of her. But we were disappointed. Late that evening, we saw what we supposed to be her lights and the next morning we stopped at Acapulco. There the Purser sent ashore his mail bag and my letters in it. I feel some little uneasiness lest my letters may not be delivered in San Francisco for they were in six cent stamp envelopes and I put nothing more on them. I was not aware that they would be sent off at Acapulco and thought I would get them and add more postage before reaching Panama. In Mrs. Bowman's letter I enclosed one to Biddy with some directions about the children and I am particularly anxious that that as well as Mrs. Bowman's and your own should be delivered. Please send to the office if you have not got them. We have passed Cape Blanco and expect to reach Panama tomorrow evening and cross on Monday. The weather has been excessively warm, and I find it hot work to pack my trunk. All the baggage is to be weighed this morning and for every pound over twenty five we pay fifteen cents. Moreover we are not allowed access to the trunks until we reach Aspinwall after they are weighed. It is ascertained that we meet the Illinois where there will be thirty less State rooms than here. I have been sea sick in crossing the gulfs but not so as to lose my appetite. We continue to have pleasant games in the Captain's room every day, with Mr. Aspinwall and Mr. Chauncey. At one o'clock today we have our last game. Mrs. Duncan and Lilly are perfectly well and I mention them at her request lest her letter should be lost and her husband anxious. Mr. Winter and Mr. Cunningham (from Marysville) will both take care of me in crossing. Capt. Avenel is very kind and attentive to Mrs. Duncan. The children on board suffer with heat and the night before last two of them had cramp. As yet [illegible] have no fever on board. The crazy girl I mentioned has been confined to the second cabin much to her own regret, but justly in my opinion. You had better tell Mr. Riley that I think I shall leave New York for San Francisco on the 5th of September so he had better wait to see the Major. This is a horrid journey unless with a good protector. Give my love to Mr. and Mrs. Bowman and to Mr. Nisbet. Kiss my little darlings for me. May God preserve all to meet again on earth.

It is not necessary for me to ask you to write often for you are always punctual and kind. Encourage Biddy all you can in unceasing watchfulness of the children.

Believe me dearest ever most affectionately your wife,

Ellen
[EES]

Wreck of the Golden Age
April 29th 1855 (Sunday noon)
[1855/04/29]

My beloved husband;
[WTS]

Yesterday I closed a hasty not to you, written in the best spirits and in high hopes of a speedy and agreeable termination to a voyage which thus far had been so pleasant and so comfortable. After dark we all went up on deck and enjoyed the evening more than any preceeding one and quite late retired with happy hearts hugging the hope that today we would be in Panama and tomorrow sail from Aspinwall for the much desired haven which leads to the homes of our hearts and our childhood. But alas! Vain are the hopes of man and vain his efforts where Providence wills adversely. At two o'clock this morning we were all (with two or three exceptions) awaked by the grating, the crashing of the vessel's bottom upon a coral reef. Then O God, I realized the littleness of man compared with Thy Omnipotence! -- Then I placed my poor soul and those___of my three little innocent children within the loving heart of my Saviour and with what calmness I could waited till His will should be accomplished and my safety or destruction became evident. Never, you will readily believe was my heart so horror stricken for never had I faced death in a?grim on aspect before. We hastily threw on the most of our clothing, seized our heavy shawls and satchels and took seats in the dining saloon. Mrs. Duncan and Lilly had slept in my room, their own being too uncomfortable, and thither Mr. Winter and Capt. Averel almost instantly came to give us all the encouragement they could and to sustain us by their presence. They seated us in the saloon and with Mr. Cunningham remained with us, one leaving at a time to make observations and determine what was best to be done. From their manner we knew that if the emergency arose and man's strong arm could save we might rely upon that hope. But the uncertainity was very great and the suspense agonising. We were running at the rate of fourteen miles an hour when we struck so you may imagine the rip that laid bare the hold and admitted the water at such a rate that in half an hour -- (perhaps in ten minutes it seemed no longer to me) the water had put the fires in the furnace out and filled the saloon with gas, heating it intensely. The Commodore and Mr. Aspinwall were on deck at the time and the moment the crash came the former gave orders to have the vessel beached in a cove at some little distance in the same island which is that of Quicura only two hundred miles from Panama. The danger was that we would sink before this could be accomplished. The boats were partly lowered and well guarded but with so many women and children and from among nine hundred souls how could I hope except against hope to be singled out and saved. I was able to maintain perfect outward composure as I placed all hopes of human efforts upon my kind escort and my soul and being in Him who holds the sea in the hollow of His hand. Every one behaved well, there was no confusion such as might be supposed to have existed -- the Stewardess went about calm and unmoved among the ladies, the servants by Captain's orders removed the treasures to the Purser's room and the trunks were guarded below. Mrs. Duncan was like all of us exceedingly alarmed and so much agitated that she wrung her hands in a perfect agony of fear and distress. Lilly was fretful at being aroused and would got to no one else. Many ladies when all was over felt the excitement had disturbed them greatly and their heads were throbbing. Before daylight we were securely beached and two boats were lowered and sent off. In one were rowed Mr. Davis and Mr. Teshmacher, to the main shore where they are to ride express to Panama armed with Bowie knife and pistol. In the other the second (or third) mate with a crew were to row for Panama unless they should meet the Jno. L. Stevens on the way. We have two weeks provisions aboard and the water and ice will we think hold out -- all are in good health and our present hope is that we will be relieved by Thursday. At present the baggage is being brought up to the first deck, water having second cabin. We hope to be able to remain on ship board and great efforts will be made to get her off. Mr. Aspinwall told me after it was over that he came down in our saloon to see me but hearing outside my stateroom door that I was talking with great composure he went back to encourage some who were terror stricken up stairs and soon after he found that we were safely beached. He did not come into my room because he supposed I was not dressed and as I did not know that he had been down or had thought of me, I should have felt desolate enough had I not had the especial care of Mr. Winter and his friend Mr. Cunningham. I told Mr. Chauncey afterwards that I wished to return to S. F., as if I ventured home and remained three months I would just hit the next wreck on going out. I told you before I left it was the time for one and whenever I heard you speak of a quick trip my heart quailed at the fear that possesses it. To may darling ones -- so unconscious of my danger give a fond fond kiss and should we never meet again on earth there is only one thing I ask of your love -- give them a Catholic education and a Catholic Mother if any. Your kind heart will forgive my many many failings which I constantly regret and believe that my heart is yours and that the hope rained heavily last night and the thunder was terrific. The steerage passengers will go ashore and eat coacoa nuts and from exposure yesterday one man last night was so raving that they were compelled to put him in irons. One woman in the upper saloon has fever and the Doctor told me he had been very busy all day with a number of patients. Mrs. Duncan and Lilly keep well and I am quite well -- only some headache today. Mr. Winter is very kind. The Commodore has not appeared at table since the accident and they say he looks miserably. Time is heavy -- but hope is strong. If the wheel had failed in three revolutions -- we would have gone down in deep water. The fires were out and only the steam remained to depend upon.

[EES]

May 1, 1855
[1855/05/01]

[WTS]

Tuesday morning:

At two o'clock this morning I heard a rush and a shout from hundreds of men on board and it waking me from a deep sleep I sprang to my feet in an instant with the conviction that sudden silent death was at hand, but imagine my dearest husband the change in my feelings when the next instant I heard on all sides---"There's the Jno. L. Stevens". The next moments guns were fired on either side and the hearts of hundreds beat lighter and happier than hope could make them when darkness set in at night with torrents of rain last night. Mr. Aspinwall came down for me last night to go on the forward deck to see and hear the men at work at the pump. They kept it up bravely singing stoutly and one party relieving the other at the stroke of the bell every five minutes. The Commodore was hard at work below in a boat. We all feel the deepest regret for him and hope he will not be censured. Mr. Aspinwall attaches no blame to his course, he is perfectly well and if you would let Mrs. Watkins know it as soon as possible. I would feel very glad. Even if she hears it other wise it would be a gratification to know that we feel a kindly interest. She is at Mrs. Dawlings. They expect to save the Boat. Mr. A. and Mr. C. do all in their power to cheer up each and every lady on board. Mr. Payne is getting up a subscription for the second mate who in his boat hailed the Stevens -- I gave ten dollars. Purser's Room -- Jno. L. Stevens. After breakfast yesterday, we were all leisurely and quietly removed to this ship where we have been until now Wednesday fore noon nearly two thousand together. Mr. Goddard came to me and offered me his room which Mrs. Duncan has shared with me. I was exceedingly alarmed and uneasy in the evening but I slept soundly on retiring and feel well this morning. We are within twenty miles of Panama. Farewell until I write from New York.

Ellen
[EES]

New York:
May 13th 1855
[1855/05/13]

My dearest Husband:
[WTS]

We arrived here this morning all in good health, and most happy I assure you to see New York once more. I was among the last to come ashore, as I preferred waiting to going thro' the crowd. Whilst I sat on deck with Mr. Winters, keeping a look out and carrying on a conversation, I espied Charley's white head and rushed to the railing to give evidence of my existence. He soon saw my signal and came up to me. He looks older but is beardless yet. I am agreeably surprised to find him in such good health. He had gone back to College when Father wrote for him to come on for me and here he has been waiting since yesterday week. Our delay has been quite a propitious one for him as it has afforded him an opportunity of seeing the sights of the City. He tells me he has been' on the go' every day since his arrival and has not seen half -- not even made a beginning -- yet.

Father is confined to the house and suffering severely with the old rheumatism and I rejoice that I am here to comfort him all I can by an earnest evidence of my undying love. Charley says I can form no idea of Minnie and he will not believe that the dageurreotype I wear was ever taken for her. Father and Mother would have met me here with Minnie had Father been well. As it is Charley will telegraph to Father at what time we will be in Columbus and he will send the carriage for us. I shall leave here on Tuesday (this is Sunday) morning and ride until I reach home -- sleeping in the cars as we did in coming on. I found a note here for me, from Gussie and this afternoon I took a carriage and rode up to see her. I found her at the house of a Mrs. Young -- a very elegant home -- on 17th Street near Broadway. She is looking better than when we saw her last, but she is serious as ever. She is coming down tomorrow to go shopping with me. I think Charley is not in the City today. I found Mrs. Chambers in the parlor when I went to it this morning and she immediately came to my room and made me a long visit combing my hair for me and acting like an old friend. She said that she had been on the look out for my brother and that if Horace had been here, he would have been to the Steamer to meet me as she thought no one had come for me. Charley is stopping somewhere else. We had no breakfast this morning until we came ashore; the provisions in the boat had run so low that it was with difficulty they could get up enough for tea last night. It is delightful to feel that we are on terra firma and yet my natural inclination for the open space and freedom of the country is so strong that I find even New York, with all its attractions irksome. To tell the truth I am impatient to get home, and were it not so much better to purchase the best articles of summer apparel that I need here I could not wait. Charley protests against my getting anything for Minnie but toys as he says Mother has even too much for her now. Tell Biddy I waked up this morning from a dream about the dear children, a dream in which she also appeared. I thought my sweet little Willy was jumping to come to me from Biddy whilst dear Lizzie was moving about my feet. I felt my old desolation returning when I found 't was only a dream and I find I have got to nerve myself daily to bear up, or I shall be grieving for them as I grieved for Minnie when I first went to San Francisco. And yet I do not regret having left them (to regret the necessity for doing it would seem idle?) and I have repeatedly on the voyage acknowledged your superior judgement in keeping them, even tho' contrary to my inclinations. Charley says that Father could not live without Minnie, so we must give her up during his lifetime. The probability is we will have a large family and it would seem the more selfish to refuse one to Father. Do not ask me to take her away from him -- I know you are too kind to insist upon it. I shall make up my mind to leave for the remainder of our sojourn in California as I cannot think of taking so terrible a journey more than twice after this. If the window in the childrens room should be broken -- or if Willy should be unwell at any time, won't you have Biddy sleep on the sofa in your front room with Willy in the crib near and you can take Lizzie with you. But I shall write to Mrs. Bowman and will not trouble you with these little matters. Do not let Biddy get discouraged as I should feel distressed and should hurry home were she to leave and the children be compelled to go to a strange nurse. I have a jealous eye where the children are concerned and I know Biddy to be good.

Lancaster O. May 17th 1855

I arrived late last evening my dearest husband and this day has been one of such excitement and so much company that I can barely steal time to close this sheet in hope it may not be too late for the Steamer of the 20th. Father is quite an invalid; the rest are well. Minnie exceeds my brightest anticipations and was so large and so changed that I would not have known her. I am worn out with excitement and fatigue but in so quiet a place with no household cares and no dear little children in charge I have time to recruit. I feel the keenest anxiety for you and the dear children -- your Asthma is so formidable. Do take some care to avoid cold for I shall be distressed should I hear that you were suffering. Kiss my little darlings for me. Poor Father says he could hardly give up to have me leave Lizzie. How doubly dear the wide seperation makes you and the children seem to me. May God grant us a reunion here as ever dearest,

Your truly affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Cincinnati Ohio;
May 23rd 1855
[1855/05/23]

[WTS]

I have not had a moments leisure, my dearest husband, since I reached home this night week. I have done nothing, it is true, but some one of the family or of my friends and acquaintances have claimed every waking hour, and the hours devoted to sleep have been fewer than usual with me. A letter to you which I began in New York I finished in haste on the evening of the 17th and I hope and believe it will be in time for the mail. On the same evening I had intended writing to Mrs. Bowman but I found that the mail closed at eight o'clock and I was therefore disappointed. On Monday (this is Wednesday) morning Father came down here on business bringing Sis and myself with him. I feel that I must devote myself to Father during my visit whatever may be its length and wherever he may choose to go. When I got home and found how much he had suffered, how he has been crippled, how infirm he continues to be and how he has longed for me I assure you I felt grateful to God for the disposition that urged me, against all obstacles to come. He is determined to keep me as long as possible, regrets the children but says that considering your feeling on the subject I did perfectly right in leaving. He feels all the regret for Lizzie that one would for a grown person and says he does not care half so much for seeing Willie. I do not dare to think much of the children and as yet I have so carefully guarded myself to avoid all grief about them. Father suffers constantly from rhuematism, which nothing seems to relieve but cold water and that is only temporary and is applied with great inconvenience. Last summer, Sis tells me, the boys were compelled to sit up with Father every night for a long time and persons thought that he was in great danger. The Doctors were experimenting upon him and he was suffering pains which they failed to relieve. Now he is not able to remain in a sitting posture longer than a half hour at a time. He lounges upon a sofa when out of bed. The day we came here he took the room in the cars with the sofa and were it not for that he could not take the trip. He has only been waiting for me to go to some cold water establishment. He thought of going to Southhampton in Conn. but I shall persuade him to go up about Cleveland where I shall be nearer home and from whence I can visit Mansfield and Sandusky. I feel anxious to get home from here but Father cannot leave before Friday. I am having some dresses made here as the few I brought with me were spoiled (with one exception) by my trunks getting wet on the Golden Age. They were exposed to rain when the baggage was removed from the second cabin to the first deck. I wanted Minnie to come down here with me but she did not wish to come and as I do not care about her becoming particularly attached to me I did not urge it. Tom is here, looking well and happy; I have been with him to his office on Main Street today and the enclosed is a card I took from his table. I send one of Boyle's also. Tom has just attended the wedding of Miss Connor at Lebanon. She married well -- a Mr. -- (I forget now) a lawyer of this city I beleive. At any rate it leaves poor Mr. Mudd in the lurch. Ellen Cox has just gone up to Lancaster and I think Tom will return with us to make a visit. Father has written for Boyle to come home to see me. Father was feeling very anxious about me before he heard of the wreck of the G. Age. He knew the Steamer was due and felt great anxiety about our safety. Fortunately too, the telegraphic news from New Orleans of the wreck was very favorable and represented it as altogether a lighter affair than it was. They tell me at home that if Father had heard news that were seriously alarming the effect would have been the very worst upon him. Mother was in great distress but a dispatch from me at N. York came the evening of the same day and then all were happy enough. Mrs. Stanbery says they ought to have rung the Court house bell when I arrived. To speak seriously however, I feel the satisfaction and pleasure of all who know me, old and young, rich and poor, to be a great compliment and I am gratified accordingly. Mrs. Duncan started from New York, with Patrick as her escort home. I bid her good bye at Elmisa[?] where she stopped to spend the night at the home of an Uncle. There she heard of her Father's death. Patrick wrote me that she was almost distractd and I feel the sincerest sympathy for her as it was more to see her Father than any one else that she undertook the journey. It was a laborious miserable voyage to her with the heavy cares of a child. I do not know how she can get home without a nurse unless Mr. Duncan should come for her because no gentleman can relieve her and really I thought many times on the way that she would be violently ill from over-exertion, care and anxiety. I gave Mr. Aspinwall one hundred and forty dollars of my money to keep for me and as he had not arrived in New York when I left I have not got it yet. I intend drawing on him thro' Martin and Co. and write him a note to apprise him of it. All the rest of my money I spent in New York leaving Charley to pay the way home. Sis and I went shopping yesterday for herself and Father and whilst out I got Lizzie a dress. There is no end of the fine dresses and bonnets Mother has for Minnie and the child becomes them well too. She is prettier, larger and sweeter in manners and ways than I had allowed myself to hope she would be. She is devoted to Mother and Father and the whole family are devoted to her. She has a nurse who is constantly with her and is in a measure under her control. Then Kitty a little girl of about seven years answers as playmate and scapegoat---getting the scoldings from Minnie and from Grandma what is due to Minnie. But they all love her so well they cannot think seriously of little outbreaks. They tell me she is very amiable and Sis and Mother are indignant at any intimation that she has temper. I was surprised to find Mr. Reese at home. Elizabeth came down to Cincinnati at his strong desire and took him up. He looks better than I expected to see him having heard that he had been paralized. He converses very freely and seems cheerful and happy. Helen, Henry's wife, is pretty and seems pleasant. Her Father arrived the night that I did and staid until Monday. James Hoyt was also there at the same time. I did not have time to tell you that Gussie is on bad terms with her Father, Charley and all her relatives and is making her home at the home of a Mr. Young who is the Father of her friends miss -- the two sisters who were invited to our wedding and reside in Brooklyn. Uncle Denman was sick in Brooklyn and I did not see him. But to continue about Gussie -- She spent the day and night with me Monday and told me all her troubles. She says Charley combined with her Father endeavored to carry out the views of her step Mother and get her to leave Mrs. Cleaveland so that her sister could visit there. They wanted her to go to a boarding home and were unwilling to settle anything definite upon her. This led to great unkindness of feeling and she has not seen her Father, Charley or any of the family -- nor the Cleaveland's since last fall. She thinks of going to England with Mr. and Mrs. Young but should she not go she will visit Elizabeth this summer. Elizabeth spoke to me in a somewhat condemnatory tone of Gussie but considering that there are two sides to all these things I have not yet formed any very decided opinion. My feelings are all in favor of Gussie but I cannot feel entirely convinced that she is right. I intend writing to Major Turner in a day or two letting him know that I have arrived and will expect him to escort me back to California in the fall. I now think I shall go back in October but I may return earlier or I may remain here even longer. I was rejoiced to receive your letters and one from Mrs. Bowman on Saturday evening but I could not get up courage enough to read of my little darlings without shedding some tears. I trust it may be God's will to grant us all a happy reunion on earth. Every one wants to see their miniatures and I think on looking at little Lizzie's that it is a perfect likeness. They all Love to see Willie laughing. Kiss the little darlings for me -- encourage Biddy and give her my love. I hope Mary does well. If the room seems too warm for three take Lizzie with you at night, can't you? Tell how the Asthma is -- better I trust. Encourage me as much as you can about yourself and the children so that I shall not get unhappy. Love to all and kind remembrances to the clerks.

As ever your affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Cincinnati Ohio
May 24th 1855
[1855/05/24]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

Yesterday after writing you a long letter, I committed the great blunder of addressing it directly to San Francisco instead of enclosing to New York. I felt truly chagrinned when I recollected myself late at night but the step was then past recall -- the mail had gone out. I gave you in it all the news in detail and intend this to be only a note of explanation. I dispatch with this a letter to Mrs. Bowman which I have just closed. We leave tomorrow -- Friday -- for home. Many persons have called on us and many invitations have been extended. We spend this evening at the Bond's. Of course numerous and friendly enquiries are made after you. Last evening I met Captain Rosecrans and his wife -- he desired me to give his love to you when I wrote again. He spoke of Mr. Hardie and Maggie as also his wife. Tom and I had our dageurreotypes taken today for twenty five cents each and sat only a second. They were good. Kiss the dear children for me and tell Lizzie I love her dearly and will bring her beautiful toys and dresses.

As ever your truly affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
June 16th 1855
[1855/06/16]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

I have unintentionally deferred writing -- until the very last moment and now I almost fear that my letter may be too late for the Steamer as Sunday will probably stop the mails on their way to New York. Your last letters were most cheering in their account of the dear children and of your own health. Father and many of us think that you would ward off colds and some Asthma by suffering your beard to grow so as to be a protection to the chest. Do try it and let me find you a patriarch in appearance, when I return in the fall. It made me feel happy to read your account of the children -- their coming to you after dinner and you undressing dear little Lizzie for bed. I flatter myself that they do not miss me with so much love and kindness from you and others, and as you make no complaints or pay compliments regarding my absence I have every reason to believe that I can make my visit home as long a one as my own anxiety will admit. Father, of course, wishes me to stay as long as possible and as I may not get home again for years I had better make a satisfactory visit this time. I wrote to Major Turner a few days since asking him if he could go out with me in October. I invited him in Mother's name to make us a visit when Boyle comes home. Mrs. Turner cannot come -- as her Mother has gone to Europe and she has no one to leave the children with. St. Louis being an unhealthy place for children at this season I would not advise her to leave them. Boyle will be up next month. Father thinks of letting him and Tom go out to Fort Dodge to locate land warrants, I send you a paper containing a letter from John Garaghty written at that place. He expects to come back in the fall for his family. Rachel is quite well pleased with the prospect of the change. I wrote you that she has a son -- it is now nearly a month old. On Thursday I went over in the cars to Circleville with Mr. and Mrs. Daughtery and Mrs. Stevenson to attend church and hear the Arch-Bishop who gave confirmation there. Mrs. Stevenson took Johnny and I took Minnie and as they are confessed sweethearts and romping joyous children they thought the fun glorious. Minnie is a head taller than Tommy or any child that I have yet seen here of her own age or a year older than herself. Little Sally Hart is six years old and Minnie is a full head taller than she. The Arch Bishop is spending a few days here and has just made us a call, looked at the pictures of Willy and Lizzie and talked a great deal about you all. He tells me that Mr. Rosecrans is about to remove to Kanawa he has some situation in business that will be somewhat lucrative. Tom writes that he would rather see any four of his friends leave than Captain Rosecrans. I think I told you that he spoke very affectionately of you and desired his love. Mrs. Rosecrans seems an excellent woman. The weather now is perfectly charming and home looks so natural and so lovely that I almost feel myself a girl again and imagine you only a lover and the children angels who have visited me in dreams. Angels I wish they were, for how I am to fit them for passing thro' the world so as to gain heaven with my own defects I cannot tell. You must hasten your conversion and give me your help or rather assume the burden. Last evening we rode out as usual; at my request Father left me at the green house where I got a handsome bouquet for the Bishop and afterwards resumed my ride. The green house is in its usual state, Philemon Stanbery and a Mr. Burnap are studying law there. They come in every day or so to be examined by Mr. Van Trump, and Mr. Stanbery comes in upon them at odd times to assure himself that they are studious and progressing. Father's farm is now in fine order. Bartlett is living on it and superintending the labour -- Laura keeps good girls and makes plenty of butter for herself and for us. They have a fine springhouse, a good garden and everything looks bright and cheerful there. The new road, being a near cut to town with a bridge near father's pasture lots, is now finished and in good order and makes one of the most pleasant rides about the town. And if there be pleasanter rides or finer scenery in the country I am greatly mistaken. Aunt Hannah is here now on a short visit and has recalled the time she visited us years ago. She says it was when Boyle was only a year old. I was then just three yet I can remember distinctly and have always remembered having been quite angry with her for insisting upon Philimon's having a tooth pulled. In my indignation I told her to go home. After she did go home she sent me some nuts and I was perfectly remorseful at being so kindly treated after having been as I thought so cruel. My years at the time, has convinced me that we treat children too much as unconscious beings and give them credit for less reason and feeling than they really possess. I have this comfort in remembering that incident of my childhood -- it assures me that even should Minnie never see me again she will remember me -- And you she will always remember as her imagination now pictures you -- which is somebody very great and good. I can well imagine your horror in hearing the first cry of the boys "Arrival of the J. L. Stevens' Wreck of the Golden Age". A great agony can be condensed in one instant! What must be an eternity of [illegible]. What think you was my agony during our suspense. I found my greatest comfort in an act of resignation to the will of God. But then I felt that children are the ties, the parting of which lend to any death the pangs almost of crucifixion. I do not understand about the letter Mr. Duncan handed you. You say it was dated April 28th. I wrote you on that day but I also wrote you after the wreck and it was the letter written last that I suppose would be handed you by Mr. Duncan. I gave it to Dr. Mc Nort?n on the Stevens and he was to give it to Mr. Duncan. The letter of the 28th I mailed you on the Golden Age. I wrote to you and Mrs. Bowman at Acapulco -- to you on the 28th and also on the 29th. I wrote to you as soon as I got home and have written weekly since to both you and Mrs. Bowman. I have not seen any of the Mansield families yet. I must visit my own people first this time as I have always been first to Mansfield since my marriage. Taylor has lost some by the rail road and Eliza's health is miserable. Susan has a daughter. Lib Parker is married and dead. Her Father treated her unkindly. Gussie writes me that she will sail for Europe on the eleventh of July. Give my love to Mrs. Casserly and tell her I was very glad to get her last letter and intended answering it, but being invited to dinner today I now have no time. I wrote to Mrs. Bowman and Lizzie by this mail. I was delighted to find you thought of the dageurreotypes. I feel anxious to hear how Mrs. Stevens has passed her confinement. Give her my love -- Mr. Stevens and the children also and remember me to the Dr. and Mrs. Bowie. Do not forget kind regards to all the gentlemen in the bank with a good word to Henry also. My best respects to the Arch Bishop. I hope you continue better. All send love to you. Minnie is delighted when a letter comes from you and always waits for her kiss -- Truly your affectionate,

Ellen.
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio
June 23rd 1855
[1855/06/23]

[WTS]

It already appears a long time, my dearest husband, since I received my last letters altho not quite two weeks have yet elapsed. The Steamer I hope will arrive tomorrow and by Wednesday or Thursday I shall have news of you once more. This stopping of the weekly mail has had some effect already, upon my spirits and I feel various anxieties about you and the children creeping upon me. I now doubt whether I shall remain as long as October. I cannot hear from Major Turner since I wrote to know at what time he could accompany me to San Francisco. I have just written again to Mrs. Turner asking her to urge him to write immediately as all my movements here will be made with reference to the time of my leaving. I must go over to Somerset to attend the Exhibition at St. Joseph's where Charley makes a speech. It comes off on the Fourth of July. Then I must go to Chauncey and see my own relatives before I accept the kind invitation of the Mansfield families to visit them -- if indeed I get there at all. Aunt Hannah is here now but she leaves next week. I think I shall ride as far as Columbus with her. Bishop Miles of whom you have heard me speak and who prepared me for my first communion spent last evening at our house being on his way to Somerset to visit the Dominicans to whose order he belonged as did also our Arch Bishop Allemany. I think I told you of the visit of Arch Bishop Purcell. He left on Wednesday after visiting Logan and returning perfectly fatigued by the ride and walk over the roads. Aunt Hannah and I took Minnie, Kitty, and Mary on Wednesday morning down to the farm where we spent the day so pleasantly that on returning in the evening Minnie declared we had staid but a few minutes. She is so large and in such perfect health that I cannot look at her without a wish that you could see her. It is beautiful to see the perfect freedom with which she approaches Father and the love with which he regards her. I was reading this afternoon in the same room with them when I heard Minnie exclaim "Look grandpa, look" and on looking up I found Father gazing at her thro' his glasses and her twirling around on her heel with as delighted a countenance as if the performance was something new. Mother tells me that when in Cin. Minnie got ready to go out with Mary and before starting she step'd up to Father and very cooly told him she wanted some money to buy a fan. She came back with one which she showed him, when he told her to take it back and get a better one. By the by talking of money. I shall soon expect to receive quite a remittance. I intend having not only dresses but an entirely new wardrobe made for myself before returning and the materials and making will cost considerable. From the fact of my trunks being good ones (I suppose) they were placed in exposed positions on the Golden Age and one end of each was wet. My dresses were stained and mildewed and my white clothes were stained with leather stains which will not come out. Tell Mrs. Bowman to make Biddy get along with as few additional clothes for the children as possible as I shall have some made for them also. Write me how it is that trunks should be prepared so as to avoid getting wet. Ask Mrs. Casserly how it was she had her clothes put up -- She told me but I have forgotten or paid no attention. Do not feel afraid that I shall over burden myself or the Major with baggage. I brought my larger trunk home not half full and the only additional article I shall take back is a larger carpet bag in which I can keep out more clothes for the Isthmus transit. My present satchel is very convenient and altho' Patrick was amazed to see how much I put into it the night of the wreck it still does not hold enough for the few days we are deprived of access to our trunks. It is ten o'clock here with you it is about seven. How my heart yearns to be with you and the dear children now. I think I must get back before long. I pray that you are all well and that the children as well as yourself continue happy. Goodnight.

June 29th. Imagine my joy yesterday, my dearest husband, on receiving your letter of the 31st of May with the darling children's dageurreotypes. I had become very anxious and was feeling so forlorn that I thought I could not stay much longer but they have made a wonderful change in me. I am delighted to find you writing in such good spirits and I am so very grateful for your kindness and forethought in sending the dageurreotypes so soon. They came at the night time for I do not beleive I shall feel as unhappy again during me stay as I did for a week before I received yesterday's mail. What a tremendous boy for a year my Willy is -- I can scarcely persuade myself that he is almost walking and talking and dear Lizzie I can perceive that she is growing taller. Biddy tells me she is good. Biddy speaks very affectionately of them and I console myself with the beleif that her care of them is a labor of love. At all events I know she is uniformily kind and has far more patience than I have at any time. I feel very anxious that Mary Lynch should keep her place if possible until I return. I saw James Lynch in Circleville who is a very fine young man and I feel certain that he has a desire to marry Mary. He expects to go back in August and if he asks Mary I hope she will have the good sense to take him. Mrs. Stevens wrote me a long and exceedingly kind letter saying everything encouraging and kind that could be thought of about the children and you. Give her my best love and tell her that as I look upon her letter as a work of mercy -- like visiting the sick and comforting the afflicted I shall not attempt to reply to it now. I may have something interesting to say to her after awhile as I shall possibly visit Buffalo and see her sister before long. I think I shall go from Mansfield to Erie to see Bishop Young and while in that vicinity I shall see Mrs. Bliss. By the bye Tom saw Mrs. Betty Bliss in Cincinnati last week. She was on her way to Baltimore. On Wednesday I went up to Columbus with Aunt Hannah and saw her off in the cars. I went in the carriage and took Minnie and her nurse. On the way up I made her beleive that she might possible be taken on to California unawares and I sang to her "Oh Grandma don't you cry for me I'm going to Cal. etd. She stopped me with her tears and begged me not to say it any more. She can't bear even the thoughts of leaving Father and Mother for California and at all times she says the same thing that she cannot go without them. We no more fail to give a message to her than to a grown person for she appreciates them as fully. She is large and healthy and active -- pretty, sweet-tempered and very easily governed. I feel no fear in leaving her again and I know there is no danger but she will love us as dearly as if she were with us all her life. She is entirely happy here and so much a part of their being now, that I could not take her from Father and Mother. We fully appreciate your kindness in consenting to give her to them. I feel it to be a far more generous act on your part than on mine -- for it is to my Parents she is given. Be assured that you are kept alive in her recollections and that all her powers of love and respect are awaked in your regard. I have not mentioned that the dageurreotypes sent by express has not yet arrived. When I read to Father the part of your letter referring to the nomination for City Treasurer he seemed at first to feel some regret that you did not accept it but this morning he said that on reflection he supposed you did right to decline. Altho' the $4000 salary and the opposition to Know Nothing is [illegible] would have been so acceptable and so congenial to my feelings, yet such is now my confidence in your better judgement that I knew at once you had made the proper choice. It is very gratifying to me to know that you are so well appreciated. I am glad you saw Fanny at Benecia. What will Hardie and Maggie do with two babies and no wet nurses in California? Do not sell Weston. Why not keep him and get a quiet horse that will be able to draw a light carriage alone. You need a riding horse and he is a treasure for you. I feel some trepidation whenever I think that he is now in the carriage. I begin to feel a little afraid that Mrs. Bowman will get weary of her charge. Children are quite a trial to persons unaccustomed to the charge. Mrs. B. has so high a regard for you that I should be sorry to think your opinions in regard to the children should clash seriously. What is Nisbet doing with himself? Has he any thoughts of committing matrimony? I received a letter yesterday from Maj. Turner saying that he can go with me in October. I do not know if I can content myself until then. Mother went to Cin. yesterday to get a dinner set -- She will be home tomorrow and at the same time we expect Boyle and Tom and Philemon;-the latter has been to Notre Dame. I shall dispatch this letter today lest Sunday intervening may delay tomorrow's letters. Tomorrow I write to Mrs. Bowman and to Lizzie. Kisses to the dear children and tell them I shall soon be home. Do not be susprised to see me any time after the first of October. As ever yours,

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
July 14th 1855
[1855/07/14]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

I was in hopes that I should receive your letters of the middle of June by this time but altho' the Steamer arrived in the 10th they had not yet reached Lancaster. I look for them anxiously this afternoon. It seems a long time since your last dates -- May 31st. I trust that you are all well and getting along so nicely that you do not yet miss me. I often feel that I cannot stay away any longer and I know I shall be painfully impatient when on my way back, for the time to come when I shall meet you and the darling children. At the same time I feel that it is better I should make a good visit this time as I may not get back again in our five years exile, and I should feel great regret on my return if I were to shorten my stay here unnecessarily or allow uneasiness about you or the children to diminish the enjoyment of the visit. I will admit that my heart is sometimes wrung with fear lest Willy should have inflammation of brain from teething and my nerves are unstrung at the apprehension of poor little Lizzie's going off in one of her paroxisms of holding her breath. But as I looked upon the possibility of loosing either of the children and made up my mind to risk it and to bear it if called upon to do so, I am not after all so unhappy about them ás one would suppose I might be. The apprehension of your suffering distresses me more and the possibility of my absence from you driving you to seek pleasures that you would not otherwise think of would put an end to all my happiness could I admit it to myself. If you feel the loss of company and want me to come home I hope you will say so. It is of course my first duty to be near you unless you can freely consent to my absence as you did when I left. And now, at least, you cannot suppose that it may be a want of true affection for others that keeps me at home. So no feeling of pride or anything else need deter you from calling me back whenever you wish me to return. I know that your kind heart prompts the desire that I should make as long a visit as I can to please myself and Father. As I have told you in all my letters I set the month of October for the trip. I wrote to Major Turner that I was going in that month and he replies that he would be most happy to be my escort. Last week I was on the point of writing to him again to say that I would like to start on the 20th of September instead of the 5th of October, when I received a letter from Mrs. Turner telling me that she expected to be confined in the latter part of November and that she could not hear to the Major's leaving until after that event. She insists upon my remaining as if two months were nothing to me away from a teething babe, for whom I must feel all the anxiety that she can for hers. I sat down immediately and wrote a tart letter to the Major which on second thoughts I determined not to send and so I have said nothing in reply to that generosity. Mrs. Turner's turn may come to go to Cal. and then she will know what it is to a woman and to children, and she will speak of it in a strain less cool and composed. Beyond the term of your contract no powers on earth will induce me to consent to one year longer there. We must take now the giving up of children and friends and every thing dear but we must not raise our children there. Your health is sufficient grounds for you giving up your contract now if you would only do it but I know there is no hope of that, but if we had no children I would feel that good grounds for justifying me in the most determined opposition to a longer stay. I will not reproach Maj. T. particularly, if he does not escort me back, for he can scarcely do so if his wife takes grounds against it at the same time I feel that he is in honor bound to do it. But you need not fear that I shall express any of these feelings to them. I made up my mind that my letter would not please you, by the time I had it finished and as I cannot say what I feel in a moderate way I shall not shew it at all. Father said immediately that he would send Boyle out with me but I told him I would not consent to that for I would rather go alone than expose a young man without business to the evil influence of the voyage. Besides Boyle is just trying to estabish himself in business and has no time to lose. I have written to Mr. Winter and to Mr. Cunningham and it maybe that one of them will be going out at that time. I am somewhat in hopes the old Captain will have come on for his "two hours in Orphan's Court" and be ready to return by that time. You need not feel uneasy about me for I think I shall have no great difficulty in finding some one -- I can write to Ben, Hamp in Baltimore and to Uncle Denman and between them I must hear of some one who will be at least a tolerable escort. Besides my trip has made me as bold as a woman's rights lady -- a sort of Bloomer in long dresses -- I believe I could stand out against a ship's crew, passengers and all if I only had the Captain and right on my side. And I have found out that the promise of liberal fees draws good attention from the Stewardess and servants. Father wants me to stay if I can content myself, until December but unless you will have written to me before you receive this to do so I feel that I cannot. It is possible that I may not. I feel as if I could not live and stay so long. The thought of leaving home again is dreadful too. Mother is going to take Minnie to Cincinnati and have her likeness taken in the beautiful style in which Mary Trum's, is taken and we will do it up to go by express to you. I shall feel as if I am never to see Father again when I leave home this time. He and Mother think of going on to New York with me, but I do not know that they will. Boyle came home on Wednesday looking remarkably well. He bids fair to have a fine practice and do well in St. Louis. He is charmed with the Catholic spirit of the Catholics there and is himself very strict and attentive to his religious duties. Father is delighted with Boyle; the character Boyle is establishing. Charley and Sis are at home -- Charley devoted to reading and Sis to music. Sis has no fancy for the society of gentlemen; indeed it seems to be rather a bore to her. Minnie is more of a favourite of all the family than you could beleive. They each love her as if she belonged to each one peculiarly and she herself is devoted to Mother and Father. She is as gay and light hearted as any bird that flies. She has a canary that is a fine singer and it is called Willy as are the horse and the doll baby. One of the dolls is named for Lizzie and one for herself so all the family are represented. Minnie is very fond of Philemon's children. She sometimes after being with them calls Philemon Pa and me Aunt Ellen. I took a game of eucre on Monday evening with Mr. Reese and Elizabeth. Rose got home on Tuesday from Mansfield and reports all well up there. I went over in the cars to Circleville to see Mrs. Anderson. Boyle accompanied -- it was on Wednesday. She is looking wretchedly and cannot live long -- but she seems quite cheerful and was very glad to see me as was also Mr. Anderson. Here is the 16th of the month my dear husband and the letters which came by the mail have not yet been received. The railroad east is out of order I beleive. Saturday I received your as letter by the Nicaruagua Steamer and cannot but admire your care in writing by both lines. I am grieved to find from your expression that Willy is "much better" that the little darling has been sick. I am feeling far more uneasiness than I am willing to express to Father and Mother. It would be torture to me would I suffer my mind to dwell on it. Do encourage Biddy to be constant in her watchfullness and tell her it will not be long now until I get back to releive her of a part of her care and confinement. Poor little Lizzie -- I hope she is happy but I know she won't be. I hope you will not think again of taking them out of the City for a day. It is now late; I have waited for the eastern stage to come in and then went down to enquire why it was my letters had not come. The P. M. tells me there was no mail. All send love to you. Minnie talks of you every day. Give my love to all friends-

Truly your affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
July 21st 1855
[1855/07/21]

My beloved husband;
[WTS]

I feel so much like writing to you tonight that I must indulge myself with a few lines altho' it is near midnight. Imagine me in the far room with Minnie sleeping sweetly near me but my heart yearning for those who are so distant from me. What would I not give to be with you now -- to know that you are well and happy and to enjoy your amiable and entertaining society. How much more closely each year of our married life binds our hearts and interests? You are now so necessary to my happiness that I feel as if life would lose all its charms and I would be desolate indeed without you. Nothing on earth but the assurance that my visit is a source of much gratification and pleasure to dear Father could keep me any longer away. His health has been improved for several weeks past but he cannot take any exercise except in the carriage and all his happiness is in his family. Of course being with Minnie is an unalloyed happiness, but it is more of a selfish gratification and having it at the sacrifice of you and the other dear children I could not stay for that alone. Mother is not so dependent upon her children for happiness as Father appears to be -- her affections are not centered upon a few as his are and we are not so necessary to her home comfort. The feeling that I am giving Father pleasure comforts me but I feel miserable about the children -- particularly since I know that Willy has been sick. To be so far from a tender babe and know that it is in pain is so trying to me, that to know that it was in heaven would almost seem a releif. And yet I know I should be nearly heart-broken for awhile should either Willy or Lizzie pass through the agony of death during my absence from them. But enough of this gloomy side of the picture I feel that I have cause for congratulation and gratitude in your improved health and the good news of it cheers me and contributes greatly to my contentment. I am already beginning to make preparations for my trip out. Mr. Cunningham writes me that he will probably sail on the 5th of October and that is the time I have fully decided upon. Father will take me to New York and there he will see Mr. Aspinwall and get his influence for my comfort during the voyage. I wrote a friendly letter to Mrs. Turner telling her towards the close of it that I would sail on the 5th of Oct. wheher I had an escort or not. I think she will visit us this summer. Father said that Boyle sd go out with me but I positively declined as I will not expose any one unnecessarily to that evil voyage. I have no doubt it will all turn out well. You cannot imagine how happy I feel at the bare prospect of our getting away from Cal. within the five years. It will greatly lessen the pain of separation when the time comes for leaving home. Even sd we remain there I am happy and grateful for a hope against it. I will do as you wish with regard to the Major about not mentioning it first. Father is happy at the suggestion and bids me tell you that he will keep the lots on block 48 for you. The letters by the last mail were ten days between New York and here -- I had become very impatient when I got yours. I have not seen any of the Hunters since. I never before heard an exact description of the large fruits. I am very sorry for poor Mrs. Fall. I hope Mrs. Stevens is well by this time. I notice that Capt. Van Vliet has gone out with Gen. Harney against the Sioux Indians.---My heart is with you and the darling children -- good night.

July 30th. Monday night.

It is now nearly midnight my beloved husband but my letters having arrived this afternoon I cannot go to bed without writing a few lines. I feel greatly releived to learn that Willy has so well recovered from his attack of fever and fretfulness -- I fear he gives you trouble at all times. I am rejoiced to know that Lizzie continues so well. Although you are so much better you still appear to be impressed with the beleif that your life will not be long. I need not say that it dampens my spirits to see in your letters the very slightest allusion to it. I hope for better things and my prayer and hope are that you may not only die a Catholic but that you may live many a long year in the practice and enjoyment of the faith "which availeth unto salvation". It is my desire and resolve to do more in future to render your life happy and to give evidence of the love which has so long filled my heart for you but which my infirmities of body and temper have stifled and concealed. So at least it appears to me. I must induce you if possible to take more care of your health as in wet weather you have hitherto so exposed it. Mr. Crim came up to see me this morning having arrived yesterday at noon. I heard that he was here on Saturday and went down to see him but it was a mistake. Yesterday it rained and I could not go down. He saw you and the children the very day he left and of course it was a great gratification to me to see him. He will take his family out in October -- perhaps the 5th, perhaps the 20th. I have fixed upon the 5th of Oct. and I think I shall not postpone the time, altho' Father is very anxious for me to do so. I think Mr. Cunningham of Marysville will be going out then and I will go under his care. Major Turner arrived here very unexpectedly on Thursday. He spent the evening and night here and the next morning Boyle and I went with him in Father's carriage to Col. where he took the morning train of cars for Pittsburgh. He expected to meet Mr. Lucas there and it was probable that he would go on to California. He said if I would go on the 20th of August he would wait until then but Father was too unwilling for me to leave then and I told the Maj. that unless I had bad news of Willy by this mail I would wait until Oct. He wants me to wait until the 5th of December but I cannot do that. He says he will take me to the Isthmus if he cannot go all the way with me but that will be unnecessary as Mr. Cunningham will take the best care of me. I would rather go with Mr. C. than Mr. Crim because the latter will have his hands full with his wife and children and in case of an accident he could do nothing for me. We were all pleased with the Major's visit but regretted it could not be longer. He did not hint at the probability of your coming to St. Louis soon and of course I said nothing of your intimation to me that you might receive an offer. I am sorry that my letter of the 23rd of May from Cincinnati did not go out by the Nicauagua Steamer. I am so constantly interrupted that I have to write at midnight or lock my room door in day time and the latter expedient is not agreeable to me ever. You need not fear my becoming involved in Gussie's troubles. She has gone to England with Mr. and Mrs. Young. I hope Charley wont go back to California. I think you have no cause to apprehend any difficulty from Mr. Reese. He is infirm and does not leave the house except to ride with Henry sometimes. I think I shall visit Mansfield next week. I have strong suspicions that they are all Know nothings and if so they are in favor of admitting free Negroes to the privelege of voting rather than Catholics either foreign or native born. With such a spirit evinced towards my brothers and my children I cannot feel cordial nor would I accept their hospitalities except at your express desire were I certain they entertained these views. But the party is losing ground every where and we have at least nothing to fear from them. The only letter I have had from any of the family is a note from John two weeks ago inviting me up. I replied to it immediately and shall as I said go up next week if possible. I think I have told you since of of Fanny and poor Lib Parker. Tuesday 31st I have just come from Philemon's where I dined with Mrs. Dr. McKibbler who is over on a visit to Mrs. Garaghty's. I am engaged to spend the afternoon at Mrs. Daugherty with Minnie who is dressed and waiting for me to start. There was an animal show in town yesterday where Minnie saw the elephant make his entree with considerable trepidation which was induced by a story of Mike Garagthy's that he had detained three men and three horses on his way over from Lancaster. We had tabileaux here last evening which were exceedingly interesting. Poor George Edwards died about noon today with disease of the heart. His Father is greatly distressed but his Mother evinces great fortitude. Willock is very disspated and poor Mrs. Willock is distressed at the prospect of an increase of family in their present circumstances. They are living very nicely in their new home but how long will it last if he continues to drink? Kate is very shy and I seldom see her. Minnie is taking dancing lessons with Sis, Boyle and Charley of a very fine dancing master. I shall write to Mrs. Bowman, Mrs. Casserly and to Biddy and Lizzie tomorrow. I send this today to make assurance doubly sure. Father has written you that I will leave on the 5th or 20th of Oct. I think nothing will keep me until the latter date. I received your check for $300 and gave it to Philemon. Minnie receives your messages with real pleasure and returns the same with evident feeling. Kiss our little darlings for me. My love to all friends and kind regards to all in the Bank.

Ever yours,

Ellen
[EES]

August 1855
[1855/08/00]

To Lizzie
[]

Mama sends her dear sweet little Lizzie a picture -- Mama is coming home soon to her dear little children whom she longs so to see. She is a long ways off and it takes a great while to go but some of these days Lizzie will see Mama coming home with a whole trunk full of presents to her and darling Willy and to Biggle and some to Mary and Catherine too. Mama hears that her little Lizzie is "Biggle's girl all a bit". Kiss your sweet little Brother for your poor Mama who sometimes cries to see you and him. Minnie sends her love and sweet kisses to you and Willy and to Papa. Tell Mrs. Bornie that Mama put off writing until she had no time to write a long letter. Do not forget Mama for she always loves her darling little children.

[EES]

[1800/00/00]

[WTS]

My dearest husband; Father was very ill all night with cholera morbus and we fear he may not immediately recover. I write to Mrs. Bowman and Mrs. Casserly today unless Father be too sick. Hampton starts at ten o'clock for N. York and I send this package by him for the Major. I do not like to see him go without me but it is better so.

As ever,

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
August 13th 1855
[1855/08/13]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

On my return from Mansfield late Saturday night I found your welcome letter per Nicaragua. Today I hope to have the mail letters. I am truly grateful for such continued assurances of the good health of yourself and the dear children. Were it not for such good news always I should enjoy my visit but little. I hope I shall find the entire household just as they were when I left. What have you done to accomodate the Major? I would not hesitate to ask Mr. N. to stay down town during his visit. I know you will enjoy the Major's visit and on your account I am glad that it occurs so soon altho' I was so greivously disappointed when I found that he could not take me back. I feel more hopeful now about the trip and can even venture it without an escort. But I think there is little doubt but I shall have an excellent escort -- Mr. Cunningham was so very kind in offering his services and standing by us at the time of the wreck that I should place the utmost reliance upon him and I think he will surely be going at the same time as myself. I shall be very glad if Captain Welch does come and make his visit in time to return with me. I should want no better gallant. Mrs. Hart is going out with Mr. Crim but I think he will not go before the 20th of Oct. and I will not wait even if I have no escort. I last week recd a letter from Mrs. Duncan telling me that she would sail on the 5th of Oct. and I have written to her that that is also my my time. She has no escort. Father, Mother, Sis and Minnie will go on with me to New York and should every one else fail I have no doubt Father can through Mr. Aspinwall find some one to take good care of me. Unless sickness should prevent me starting you may certainly look for me by the first of November. I dread the trip but I shall do my best to be cheerful during the continuance of it, and if leave taking be a sad one my anticipation will at least be happy. I found on Saturday a letter from Major Turner written on the eve of his departure for San Francisco. He is one week out today and when this letter reaches you, you will be together. Give him my best regards and tell him I hope to see him at the Isthmus or to find him in San Francisco. I had made up my mind to visit Mrs. Turner but I now fear that I shall not have time to do so. But I may. I go the last of this week to Cin. again for a few days. Tom will return with me to make a visit. Ellen Cox and Julia McComb will be here next week and with Boyle and Tom and Charley, Willy and Lewey Wolfley we will have a housefull and a merry time. Tom will not be married this fall. My visit to Mansfield was a very pleasant one only it was a little too short. I went up on Wednesday and returned on Saturday. Father insisted upon my taking his carriage to Newark and leaving it there and as he rides so constantly I did not feel willing to deprive him of it longer. Boyle, Elizabeth Reese and Doly and Kate Willock went up with me. Elizabeth and Doly remained for a longer visit. All the family were at home and all were as kind and pleasant as ever. Boyle and I staid at Amelia's and we had family gathering there and at Fanny's, Susan's, and John's. I called to see Eliza and your Uncle Parker and his wife. The account Elizabeth gave me of your Uncle's treatment of Elizabeth Parker was greatly exaggerated and represented him in a much worse light than the truth would. Mr. McComb' is as good as ever. Amelia has another sickly boy baby. Lib is now Mrs. Ewing Miller living in Mount Vernon very happy and the mother of a fine little girl. So I must congratulate you upon being a "great Uncle". Julia is as smart and fine a girl as I ever wish to see. Rob, Bill and Charley are just the same except they are an inch or two higher. They go off in any direction they please in the cars and stay as long as they please without waiting for permission or for money. Rob had just got home from a trip of several days during which he spent five cents; his friends the Conductors and etc. saw to his comfort and he enjoyed himself gloriously. Susan has a beautiful babe -- "Alice". Fanny has a first rate husband and is keeping house very nicely. All is as usual at Charles's and at John's. Charlotte is living in the good home of Avery's by John's. They are all very much pleased with Fanny's wo[?]rd with Lib McComb's match.

Tuesday 14th.

We had a little party last evening the dancing Master was up, with his violin and they had fine dancing. Mr. Haley led Minnie out as partner in the first dance and she went through it beautifully; she has gone down now to take another lesson. Last Sunday Mother staid at home with Minnie and they watched the people going to Church, from the window. Minnie suddenly called out, "There goes Clara Garaghty all dressed up -- "She thinks she's some pumpkins" I did not receive the Mail letters yesterday. The Steamer did not get in until Saturday -- being six days later than the Nicauagua Steamer. I shall write tomorrow per Nicaragua. I have not heard from Mrs. Bowman now for a long time.

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
August 29, 1855
[1855/08/29]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

I was overjoyed last night on receiving your good letter and Willy's picture with a very kind letter from my good Mrs. Bowman. Willy looks too sweet -- I feel as if I must have him in my arms. The likeness of Mrs. Bowman is excellent and I think she and Willy look alike in the picture. Father says Mrs. Bowman looks as if she were congratulating herself upon her fine son. Willy would no doubt think her the Mother, rather than me were I there today. But my dear Lizzie will know me I am sure even if my return be postponed; and my joy on seeing her will if possible surpass that of meeting and embracing my baby boy. I shall take Lizzie all the really pretty little things I can well afford to buy and as I shall take out a number of dresses for both her and Willy you had better recommend Mrs. Bowman not to replenish their wardrobe beyond what she thinks absolutely necessary. However it is only the outer garments that I think now of having made for them. I received a letter from Mrs. Casserly who is the only one to mention your health and I feel happy to know that you are looking so well. I think of consulting Dr. Hunter in New York about your Asthma and getting of him some of the inhaling remedies for that disease. I must cure you up myself by the assistance of some one or other. I am taking burdock and find it a very fine tonic. It is about the only remedy for scrofula that Dr. Powers gave me, and as I have not felt strong I thought that I would take advantage of my being where I could easily obtain it. Mrs. Snyder wrote to me and as I shall not be able to answer her letter soon and perhaps not at all I wish you would acknowledge its receipt for me. If I have time that is uninterrupted I shall write to her. I shall be very happy to see Mr. Riley. I think Boyle will wait and go out with him to St. Louis. Should the weather be pleasant and all well at home I shall very probably accompany them. I received a letter a few days since from Mrs. Turner and she writes as if she certainly expected me. I take hint about your Banker's wives and the money in the vault and shall (as I have hitherto done) act upon it. Yet notwithstanding you may be surprised at my spending so much, but when you reflect that I am making a good many little trips, buying a complete wardrobe for myself and preparing clothes for the children besides getting Minnie many things you will be able to imagine where it has all gone. Mother has left nothing for me to get Minnie but I cannot make my visit and leave without getting her presents of toys or whatever may cheer her during the days of confinement next winter. I am sorry but not surprised to find that you feel as badly as I did when I first heard that Major Turner would not escort me back. I felt thunderstruck on reading Mrs. Turner's letter and from that moment to this I have felt that I would start to go alone and rely only upon God whose providence alone must guide me safely back. I appointed the 5th of October to sail and made up my mind to be detained by nothing short of illness on the part of some of the family. But Father is so unwilling to have me start without being certain of an escort that I cannot offend him by doing so particularly as you advise me to wait until the latter part of Oct. Mr. Cunningham first wrote me that he would go out on the 5th but I have lately had a letter from him stating that he could not leave before the 20th. Mr. Crim will go on the 20th and as Mrs. Crim and Mrs. Hart are not going I can be well taken care of by him. He says he may receive letters which will induce him to leave on the 5th and should he, I shall be ready. I shall not fail to follow minutely your directions about writing to Mr. Aspinwall and about having my trunks prepared in New York for the voyage. Father and Mother with Minnie and Sis still think of accompanying me but I would not be surprised if they should change the arrangements. I received a letter from Mrs. Duncan saying she would start on the 5th without an escort. I have written to her that she had better wait until the 20th when Mr. Crim and Mr. Cunningham will probably both be going out. I will take you a good likeness of Minnie for which you must find a nail in the best parlor. She talks about you and dreams about you but she will not for a moment consent to go with me. A few nights ago she waked me calling out "Papa" and slept on unconscious that we knew what she had dreamed. She grows astonishingly and strangly resembles you in disposition as well as in features. Last Sunday in church Mother told her that if she did not stop talking Father Lange would send her out when she cooly replied that that was just what she wanted. She says she will tell the Know Nothings that she would rather die Irish Catholic than turn Know Nothing. Kitty, the little girl who is kept for Minnie's pleasure, is in great dread of being sent back to Ireland and she thinks the K. N.'s have no other object than sending back the Irish. It is astonishing the obedience that Minnie pays to Father. She no more disobeys him than if it were impossible to do so. And she yields so sweetly and pleasantly that it is a comfort to see her twharted sometimes. She is very fond of the peaches which are now ripe and are indeed nearly gone. She is so much afraid that I will take her to California that she will not readily consent to go with me to Cincinnati or else where lest I keep on out -- and take her away from Grand Pa and Grand Ma. I wish you would facilitate the visits of young Lynch to Mary. I am in hopes he will marry her. He is to sail I beleive on the 5th of Sept. I wrote a few lines by him to Mrs. Bowman. I shall write you by the Nicaruagua Steamer also. I write today to Mrs. Bowman. Kindest regards to Major Turner and all in the Bank. All the family send love particularly Boyle and Charley.

As ever your most affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster O.
August 30, 1855
[1855/08/30]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

I this moment received your very interesting letter of July 30th sent by the Nicauagua. You are very kind to write by each route. You may know how much I was interested by your letter when I tell you that I laughed aloud at the picture of Willy and Lizzie. Dear Lizzie-I can see her expending her strength upon the trunk with the tooth brush and then expressing her horror of Willy's behaviour, when he came out a chimney sweep. How I wish I could have been there by your dear side watching those little beings who are so queer and yet so attractive, who are a part of ourselves and yet with characters so distinct. I am glad to get the sketch of the home nor have I over-looked the children at the window -- they surely were not meant as specimens of the art of Portrait painting but still it does me good to see them and know for whom you intended them. I hope you are not troubled much now with Asthma. I am sorry you find our household arrangements an annoyance to you in any way. I fully and always appreciate your superiority but I am dependent upon female sympathy and beleive Mrs. Bowman to possess the kindest and most generous heart. I never shall forget her willingness to take both the children in her own home or in ours as we might arrange. I know very well that Mr. Bowman entered into the arrangements from different motives but that only makes Mrs. B. kindness appear more beautiful. I hope to make you happy the remainder of the years we may have to spend together. And I hope to be made happy by seeing you such that should death "Obliterate your memory" from all save the hearts of your wife and children they may have the comfort of knowing that you occupy a position infinitely more exalted and more blissful than earth can conceive. It makes me sad to have you refer to your apprehension of our early death even altho' I myself cannot but hope and do beleive that you will live to see your children's children. I am sorry that you are not as comfortable and well situated as you might hope to be, but you can arrange things to suit yourself when I get back. Tom and Ellen Cox are here and we are having a houseful of company. Elizabeth is to be home from Mansfield on Saturday with Jude McComb. Nothing will keep me after the 20th of October. Kiss the darling children for me. Believe me always your most affectionate

Ellen
[EES]

About Aug 1855
[1855/08/00]

[WTS]

The day Major Turner called Minnie was out in the summer home with Mother and when Mary told them who was in the parlor Minnie says, "Tell the gentleman I can't see him today." She is very much offended if I call her poor Minnie. She says she is not poor for she has "plenty of fine dresses in the wardrobe". She has never once consented to go with me to California unless her GrandPa and all the family will go along. She says once she was on the River on a ship "a great deal larger" than the one I came in and a an gentleman invited her to play cards -- she told him to ask her Grand Ma if she might as if there were no doubt but that she could. She continues to grow and is now taller than many children two years older than herself. She has everything in the world to make her happy and I do not think she is spoiled by indulgence. Her last demand of Father is a gold watch -- all the rest of the family carry them and she thinks she must have one also. The Reese girls were up last evening. Rose is in bad health. Mrs. Daugherty says she thinks Rose has consumption -- the family are anxious about her but I think they do not apprehend anything so serious. Henry and his wife are going to housekeeping. Rose has discarded Dr. Kirk -- Henry' brother in law. He is rather disaippated. Mr. Reese looks very badly. I do not beleive that Elizabeth will be able to get along if Henry goes to house keeping for they have very little besides his board -- nothing but May's school and Rose's small remittance from Philadelphia. Henry's wife being rich he ought to be able to spare a part of his salary to his Mother and I presume he will. I understand that Taylor is offended at Mr. Reese being here and would for that reason do nothing more. They had recd letters at Mansfield from Des Moines James had lost one of his youngest children and Lamp also. Hoyt is rich beyond a doubt. Charley Parker is not there now. I called to see Chat's children and Taylor's also -- I do not recall whether I told you of the deaths of Dr. Knider and of George Edwards. George died of heart disease. Dr. E. and family are here now. Cousin Louise Van Trump has gone to N. York to consult a physician. Fanny is at Ellicot, Mills at school. Father, Mother, Boyle, Charley, and Sis desire their love to you. Minnie is always delighted with your messages and insists upon having the kiss you send. Love to all friends and kisses to my little darlings.

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
Sept 15th 1855
[1855/09/15]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

A day or two since, I received your letter by Nicaragua and although the mail Steamer arrived only two days later than the Nicaragua Steamer I have not yet heard anything of Mr. Rieley. I look for him today with a degree of certainty that will occasion a serious disappointment should he not arrive. You must have been amazed to see Major Turner as you seem to have had no thoughts of his coming so soon when you wrote last. The absence of the Major from St. Louis will doubtless interfere with Rielly's plans and probably greatly prolong his stay. I see you expect me by one of the October Steamers and I feel that I cannot be content to remain longer away from you and the dear children. My absence has, in a sense, weaned me from them (more dear than life tho' they be) but it makes my love for you stronger and my apprehensions regarding your health much greater. I intend to consult Dr. Hunter in New York regarding your Asthma and you can communicate with him afterwards by letter. He uses the inhaling remedies for Asthma and consumption and bronchitis and his fame is wide spread. Cousin Louise has been in to consult him and found encouragement and already some releif. Both drafts came safely and have been signed and handed to Philemon. You must not be shocked at the amount of money I may spend for I have to get a complete outfit. Your caution regarding the Empire City somewhat unsettled me. Since receiving your letter advising me to wait until the 20th of October I have made all my arrangements to do so, the more especially as Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Crim also intended to wait. But now I do not know what to do; I have written to Mr. Aspinwall and to Uncle Denman to find out if the Empire City leaves on the 20th and if I hear that she does I shall go either on the 5th of Oct. of shall be compelled to wait until the 5th of Nov. and in either case I can provide myself with no escort -- unless Mr. Aspinwall can get me one. Father is again rather more unwell and since the late fearful accidents on the railroads he has concluded that he had better not take the family on with me to N. York. They could not go any place from there as Father must attend the Court in Cincinnati which opens on the 18th. Tom or Charley will go to New York with me, and I myself think it much better that Father should not go. I have written to Baltimore to Hampton but he knows of no gentleman who could escort me out. Mr. Cunningham thinking that I am going the 20th and under his care writes to me that he had better engage my stateroom next week as the Steamer will probably be crowded. I am sorry to hear that. Do not distress yourself about me as I can take pretty good care of myself on the journey and should it be God's will that I should meet death in any form I can with His grace resign myself and meet it calmly. I shall (should my hour come soon) die in the hope that you may give my children a Catholic Mother, if any, and that you may have the gift of faith bestowed upon you. The desire of seeing you a christian is the hope of my life and in death it will not desert me. Sad would be the remnant of my life should your death deprive me of that hope. My friend Mrs. Anderson died about ten days since. Charles Anderson wrote to me instantly and Mother Boyle and I attended her funeral which took place from her father's old residence now occupied by Mr. Allen. After the funeral we dined with Mr. Allen. She leaves a helpless family of little children, and a most afflicted husband. I never pitied a man more than I do Mr. Anderson. On the 12th of this month Mrs. Stevens was married to a Dr. Worthington who has settled in Chillicothe. Bishop Young came down to perform the ceremony and is still here making us a little visit. Philemon was quite sick yesterday but if he is well enough he is to go to St. Louis on Monday. Mr. and Mrs. Stoddard are going down and there is to be a sale of some of his real estate. Boyle leaves here tomorrow and will remain in Cincinnati with Tom until Monday. If Rielly comes today he will probably form one of the party. I am going down to Cin. again on Monday but I cannot go on to St. Louis as I am so uncertain about my time of leaving New York. I think Mrs. Duncan will go out with me on whatever Steamer I may go. I hear from her often. I was surprised but pleased to hear of Captain' Welch's fair prospects. There being many a slip between the cup and the lip I cannot speak of it as having absolutely been a marriage. I feel quite uneasy and very anxious to know what "changes" have taken place at the house -- you only refer to them in this letter. I shall feel very sad if poor Mary is adrift again. I will not think for a moment that Biddy is gone. Probably it is Mr. Nisbet. Your account of the dear children is most gratifying. Willy is truly a fine boy. Imagine my joy on seeing him and Lizzie again! it will be too great -- the very anticipation excites me till my heart throbs. Minnie is so identified with the family here that I cannot feel the same pang in leaving her again. She saw Mrs. Stevenson married the other day and came home wishing that I would get married and leave as she wants no Mother but Grand Ma. She cannot yet understand the relations of life -- I presume she thinks you are my brother. She thinks that Charley and all her Uncles are also my Uncles and that Mother and I are the same age and were children together. She is now in the kitchen porch ironing at her little table and when I was there she called Kitty to stand by her and learn. She came to Mother last evening for permission to go and witness a fight that was going off down street and she did not stop until she got permission and ran off with Mary and Kitty as body guards -- All the family desire love to you. Give my love and respects to all friend. Beleive me ever Your truly affectionate, Ellen family desire love to you. Give my love and respects to all friend. Beleive me ever

Your truly affectionate,

Ellen
[EES]

Columbus, Ohio
Sept. 28th 1855
[1855/08/28]

My dearest husband;
[WTS]

Having heard nothing from Rielly and not having received any letter by the last mail Steamer, I felt perfectly perplexed and to solve all mysteries I came up here today with Father for the purpose of telegraphing to St. Louis and to Capt. Welch to find out Rielly's whereabouts. Capt. Welch wrote to me from New York that Rielly would be in Lancaster the latter part of the week after his arrival. I had looked for him anxiously each day for a week before the receipt of that letter and from the time mentioned until this hour I have been expecting and hoping for my letters if not for his arrival. We arrived here at six o'clock and telegraphed Lucas and Simond's and have just received answer that Rielly is in St. Louis. What has become of my letters or how Rielly can explain his uncourteous treatment of me I know not. In the morning I shall telegraph to the Bank in St. Louis for information regarding my letters. I feel much hurt and according to my nature rather indignant at Rielly but after all it is only one of many evidences I have had (since thrown into the world) of the selfishness of men where no strong natural tie or attachment exists. You are an exception and you seem to judge others by yourself but I am neither as kind by nature or in my judgements as you and my experience this summer has not tended to soften me in that. I am now feeling distressed at the apparant necessity for deferring my trip until November. I am heart sick about you and the children both. Cump I beg you not to let any evil result from my delay -- if you knew how I feel about it you would pity me. Mr. Crim said until lately that he thought he could not go until the 20th of Oct. Mr. Cunningham wrote me that he could not go until then and you wrote me about that time that I had better wait for that Steamer on account of the health of the Seamen; so I reluctantly postponed my starting till the 20th. Then came your letters about the "Empire City"; about the same time. too Crim changed his mind about starting and concluded to go on the 5th. I did my best and lost not a moment in trying to find out when the Empire City would go down thinking if she was fixed upon for the 20th I would go with Mr. Crim on the 5th. Unfortunately Mr. Aspinwall and Mr. Cunningham were both out of the City and I could not hear until too late to start with Crim. Whilst I was waiting for answers to my letters, Crim got a dispatch from New York stating that the Illinois would go down on the 20th and relying upon that, I ceased my preparations and therefore was not ready when I got letters saying that the Illinois was undergoing repairs and would probably not be ready, in which case the E. City will take her place. Mr. Cunningham writes that he will not go on the 20th and as I cannot hear with certainty about the boat in time to engage my stateroom I shall be compelled to wait for the 5th of Nov. Mrs. Duncan was to go with me and she will be unwilling to wait or to go alone. I shall telegraph her tomorrow to come to Lancaster on her way east, Mr. Aspinwall wrote me a very kind letter assuring me that I should have his influence on my voyage out. You can tell Mrs. Bowman and Mrs. Stevens that I have had letters from their friends inviting me to visit them and that I shall certainly do so. Mrs. Steven's sister is now living in Erie.

Lancasfer Sept. 30th -- Sunday

We came down yesterday from Columbus, dear Cumpy, having telegraphed again to Lucas and Simonds enquiring if Rielly had my letters. The reply was that Rielly had mailed a letter for me on the 27th. It has not reached me yet but I presume it is one he has written and that my letters by the mail are lost. I need not tell you how much I regret it nor what a deprivation it is to me. Had Rielly only come here or written to me in proper time I should have been saved a great deal of anxiety and provocation. As it is Rielly is out of my favor so decidedly that nothing on earth could reinstate him. It is a thankless task to entertain and were it not that I can do it thro' duty and look for a higher reward I should give it up in sheer disgust. I have just written to Mr. Aspinwall asking if he can engage a stateroom for Mrs. Duncan and me to be kept only on condition that the Illinois goes down. If he can and will let me know in time I shall go if the Illinois is ready. If he cannot have the room or if the Illinois should not go I must wait however reluctantly for the Steamer of the 5th of November. Mr. Cunningham has written me that he will not go until the 5th of Nov. I wrote to him today to know if he would go in case the Illinois went on the 20th. If he does not and if the Illinois does go Mrs. Duncan and I must start without an escort. I found a letter from Capt. Welch awaiting me last night. He cannot come out here but says he will try to meet me in N. York. He does not say when he will return. He tells me that Biddy wrote to me by the last Steamer and I assure you I regret to lose her letter. I sent her a book by Mr. Crim as she is a good deal confined to the house. I sent a little present to each of the dear children. Make Lizzie understand who sent them. Give my love to Mr. and Mrs. Bowman, Mr. Nishet, Mrs. Cassperly and Mrs. Stevens. All the family send love to you. Minnie will not for a moment consent to go to California. She says she wants her Papa and her Mother and Sister to come home. She had a large party yesterday which she enjoyed very much. She is growing constantly and bids fair to be a Sherman in size if not in expression and features. She now resembles you too much to change.

As ever,

Ellen
[EES]

Sept 22nd 1855
[1855/09/22]

[WTS]

I wrote to Mr. Aspinwall, Mr. Cunningham and Uncle Denman. The two former were out of the City and my letter to Uncle was unfortunately delayed somewhat so I only received my answers to them all last night -- too late for me to make ready for the 5th of Oct. I had at first determined that nothing should prevent my starting on the 5th of Oct. but you wrote

next part torn off by Lizzie Sherman 1911 --

I should feel indifferent as to the ship wreck or safety of the vessel. I tell you Cump I do not know what to do. I feel miserably about my voyage. Crying does me no good and nothing else seems to help me. I cannot find-an escort here and I cannot wait -- and how can I go alone. Perhaps I ought not to have come -- but my head and heart prompted differently and I thought

next part torn off by L. Sherman 1911

or telegraph from Rielly and that I have not received your letter or Mrs. Steven's by the last mail. I cannot tell whether you sent them by Rielly or not but if he has kept them all this time he has treated me outrageously and I shall tell him so. But I think he cannot have them. I do not know where he is. Capt. Welch wrote to me a day or two after his arrival in

next part torn off by L. Sherman 1911

death where the blissful state and not follow that event. But you will think I am complaining again and it is the desire of my heart to see you happy and I deplore my inability to render you completely so. Kiss my little darlings for me and give my love to all near friends. All are well here. Minnie has spent the day cooking -- we got her a little stove in Cin. -- She would rather cook and make pies than play with a doll. Boyle has gone to St. Louis. My regards to the Major. As ever your truly attached

Ellen
[EES]

Lancaster Ohio;
Oct. 10, 1855
[1855/10/10]

My beloved husband;
[WTS]

I am in a truly homesick mood tonight, not so much to get back to our new house -- or even to the darling children -- as to see you and be with you again. Before we were married when you were out at Mansfield, after your return from California, I suffered for a time, about what I am feeling now, only in a tenfold more degree (for there was then perhaps more danger than now) a great depression occasioned by the fear that I may never see you again. Do you remember how ill you were then, for a while? and how little hope you had of a permanent recovery? Words could not tell the agony I endured during those days -- nothing on earth could divert my mind and let me attempt what I might my heart and thoughts were ever of you and were painful in the extreme. The same heaviness of heart with the same feverish anxiety to start to you is now afflicting me, and yet, I am compelled to remain quiet for a time and allow several weeks more to elapse before I even start upon my journey. I received a letter from Mr. Aspinwall on Monday informing me that the Empire City will certainly go down on the 20th, and after your positive injunctions regarding that vessel, I am afraid to go on her and Father is decidedly opposed to my doing so. So I must wait for the Steamer of the 5th of November for which Steamer Mr. Cunningham will also remain. I shall leave here about the 26th, spend a day in Mansfield, stop a few hours at Erie to see Mrs. Bliss (Mrs. Steven's sister) and then stop and spend a day with Mrs. Bowman's friends near Athens Pa. Charley is to be my escort and a first rate one he is. I shall certainly make an effort to see Mrs. Hamilton in New York and should she renew her cordial invitation to dinner I shall make it convenient to accept. I shall consult Dr. Hunter about your Asthma and take you inhaling tubes and remedies for I cannot any longer remain quiet and inactive whilst you are in such distress as you have been at times. I hope I shall meet Major Turner in New York on his return as he expected to start the 5th of October. I presume he has made the house so pleasant that you have not missed me much. How my heart yearns now to be with you and the dear children. It is surely one of life's hardest trials to be so widely seperated from those who are a part of our very hearts. In one sense I look upon my journey with feelings of great dread but again I feel that I can brave it as well as any one and with the help of God shall get back to you safely and well and I hope better instead of worse than when we parted. I have not told you that I received a very polite note from Mr. Meiggs offering to do anything that may facilitate my arrangements for the voyage. I shall reply tomorrow. Mr. Aspinwall writes most kindly and offers his services. On Saturday I received your dear letters of Sept. 4th with the ones that had occasioned me so much anxiety of Aug. 18th. They were marked "too late". They did not reach the P. Office in San Francisco in time. Enclosed were the drafts and the note to Mr. Meiggs which I shall take with me to New York. You will be pleased to hear that I have had the satisfaction of a visit form Capt. Welch and his wife. They got here on Monday and left this afternoon (Wednesday). They staid with us, of course, and we all enjoyed their visit very much. Father as much as any of us. Father was delighted with the Captain's fondness for Lizzie and he enjoyed his information of foreign parts and the Cities and Countries of Europe. Tom was up from Cin. as were also two gentlemen to see Father and they all formed one party here at dinner today and left in the cars together. I think the Capt. and his wife enjoyed their visit very much and got off in fine spirits. I will tell you more about it when I get back as also about his wife whom I like very much. We all enjoyed a stroll off Kettle hills this morning and yesterday we walked to Mount Pleasant and spent an hour or two there talking of you. The Captain will not acknowledge that Willy compares with Lizzie in any respect and he says that the latter is your favourite as well as his. But I know pretty well how they compare and I know how you love them both only too well. Biddy is certainly the treasure I supposed her to be and I am truly grateful for my good fortune in getting her. I hope she may keep well and continue her care until I get back. I must not forget to mention that I received a long letter from Rielly; he says he was taken ill in the cars at Philadelphia and was not well until he got to St. Louis. He asks me to answer his letter and says he would like to visit me from St. Louis. I shall take no notice of him or his letter as I beleive that he has slighted your express wishes in not coming to see me and he has moreover insulted me by allowing me to expect him for such a length of time and neglecting to write, telegraph, or mail the letter he had for me.

Oct. 15th 1855

I am now completing my arrangements for leaving home, my dearest husband, and I feel that my time is drawing to a close. Dear little Minnie seems to attach herself more closely than ever to me and feel enough like a woman now to find the parting a sorrow. But sorrows touch but lightly the innocent heart of childhood. Father went down to Cincinnati in the early train this morning and it is possible that he will not get back before I leave. Should he not I will go down to bid him good bye. He left me railroad tickets which he buys by the lot -- getting them a little less. He s??rns free tickets which have been offered him. I have appointed next Friday week -- either on the eleven o'clock train to Zanesville or go by Cincin. and thence to Columbus and up. I have allowed myself plenty of time on the way and in New York as I do not wish to feel hurried and fatigued. The day I start will be the 26th and I will not sail until the 5th Nov. Mrs. Duncan has gone to Philadelphia and does not know how she can pass the time until we start. She is so impatient to be off. I have a great deal to tell you about Elizabeth and the family when I return. I spend about every other evening with Elizabeth either here at her home or with some other friends. The weather is bright and beautiful. Charley is at Chauncey on business. Bartlett and family left this morning for the far west -- Rachel leaves soon. Minnie insists upon sending you the medal off her chain. She will take no excuse. Good bye God grant in a happy meeting.

Ellen
[EES]